Rant & Raves

The other day I was having some midnight tea with a bunch of old friends, and our conversation ranged from global economy to local market. Then we progressively turned the topic to our good old days.

During that night, there was only one particular story jumped out from the rest.

It was years back when most of them were on a trip to the U.S. for some boyscout thing. They won some local boyscout competition and was rewarded a chance to go to the U.S. to compete against the boyscout from other countries, like the U.S., U.K., and others.

I never understand boyscout and I will not bother about it, period. But most of my good friends were from boyscout. So go figure.

Anyway, back to the story…

The competition was held at Nevada state, so the organizer put all of them in a hotel in Las Vegas. Boys being boys, and Las Vegas is a city of sin; lots of gambling, prostitutions, alcohol and it was an eye-opener for most 15 years old teenage boys whom has never seen things like Las Vegas. So naturally those boys were being naughty, to say the least.

They chipped in money to get prostitution for a cheap blowjob, and the boys lined up to get their fair share of oral-cleaning process. Why not go full swing? Blowjob was the cheapest at USD50 during that time, and all of the boys were just students so they didn’t have a big allowance for a full swing humping action. After the “cleaning” process, they went down and explored the city. They saw the public phone booth got lots of name cards, and on those name cards, they were advertising “Call Sally” or “Call Molly”, attached with a picture (some very naked pictures). They took those name cards as souvenir and they thought it was the best porno they ever got.

I certainly agree with them, after what I had witness after they came back. I will get to that very soon.

They continued to explore Las Vegas, and they stumbled upon a store. They ventured inside, and saw there were a lot of sex toys (like vibrator, dido, KY Jelly, and things like that), VHS tapes (hey, that was like many years back and DVD certainly wasn’t around during that time), and of course, some porno magazines.

These boys were excited to find the porno magazines, but they were afraid that their scout lead (an old female) will find out, so they quickly grab a few porno magazines on the stand, dashed to the counter and paid the magazines. The counter boy gave them a puzzle look, but said nothing. After paying for all 3 magazines, the boys ran out from the store, the porno magazines tucked under their arms like a priceless possession.

They kept the porno magazines hidden from the scout leader, and then when they were back, they called all of us out to a friend’s home, and held the Grand Opening of the porno mag. We scuffled together for our first real porno magazine, and after flipping a few pages, our eyes almost popped out from our sockets and we almost dislocated our jawbones.

The women in the magazines all got sagging breasts and the nipples were wrinkle like my old rag at home. A closer inspection revealed that those women have silvered color hair, and they were older than my mom, not the mention the wrinkles around their eyes. I mean, those wrinkles!

I flipped to the cover and read the title of the porno magazine in my hand:

Women over 40

I said out loud, “What the fuck????” and we were silent for the next 10 seconds, and we could hear the wind blowing outside the house. Then quickly, another friend grabbed the 2 more porno magazines and opened them. To our bewilderment, one of them was Women over 50, and the other one was PlayGirl.

Suddenly, all of us erupted into laughter. The only person who wasn’t laughing was the friend who was in charge of grabbing those magazines and paid for it. Apparently he was too anxious and scared, so he just grabbed whichever nearer and did not read the title carefully (in the U.S., the cover page of porno magazine is normally covered by plastic cover, revealing only the title so one cannot see what’s on the cover).

“Mahai!!!! Shit!!!” he exclaimed, red face.

Up until today, we are still laughing at the incident. Oh it will be a good laugh for many more years to come.