Archive for the 'conversation' Category

23
Jun

Chocolate and Sex

“Adrian, you haven’t had any sex lately, have you?”

A close female friend was asking me that when I was at the cashier counter, paying for my Toffe Viennese at Marks & Spenser.

“Hello! Do I look like I am having hot sex with a super hot model every night?” I replied back while handing out the RM10 notes to the cashier. The cashier threw us a casual look while keying in the amount and counting the change.

“Well.. No…” she said.

“Thank you! After breaking up with you know who, I didn’t bed anyone, for your info. Why did you ask?” I said while taking the change from the cashier.

“I have known you long enough that you are not a sweet person (translation: I don’t like to eat sweet stuff), that I can tell. But suddenly you bought one bag of chocolate,” she took the package from my hand, and read, “topped with soft caramel and coated in smooth milk chocolate, now that’s sweet. And do you know that chocolate is a substitute for sex?”

“Is it?” I put the wallet back into my pocket, “I had no idea. Ya, maybe I had this urge to hump some living objects but it’s socially unacceptable so I am taking chocolate to satisfy my sexual needs.”

“Seriously!” she almost shouted, “don’t you read those research papers?”

I smiled at her, and said, “I only read porno magazines and so far they didn’t mention chocolate as substitute for sex. But they do have lots of chocolate sex and food sex kinda thing.”

She slapped me on my shoulder.

Suddenly, a lightbulb just “ding” and appeared in my mind. “Oh I know!” I exclaimed excitedly, “next time when I go clubbing, I will bring a box of Godiva chocolate and if any girl came to me and asked me for it, I will know it’s on for one night stand!”

She glared at me and then laughed.

28
May

The Conversation

Last night, a friend of mine invited me to go to her house because she knew what had happened. So I went there, had a cup of nice hot coffee, and we started talking.

“I was trying to help, but at the end, this is the result of my good intention,” I said, showing her the SMS that I received that day, “I practically put my head in the line, took the risk, spent the money to get the things done, but she did not appreciate it. Hell, she’s even calling me a liar now.”

She kept quiet. She knows very well when to speak and when to listen.

“Do you know that if anything were to go wrong, I would be in trouble? I will be the very first person to be in trouble because I put my head in the line for them to chop. Everything was planned accordingly, and everything was OK. Then at the very last minute, she wanted to put a stop to it. I had no choice put to do that. Yet, now, I was blamed for putting up a show and being accused for being a liar.”

She looked at me, not saying a thing.

“But I won’t blame her. Really,” I added, “because I know what she is going through and that’s that. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”

“You poor thing,” she finally said something, “you are just unlucky, that’s all.”

“You know, I went to the grooming room today and I saw Fluffy,” and I recounted the things during our short reunion earlier that day, “Do you know, from that very specific moment, I know something for sure. Yes, now I have a good steady job, I have a place where I can call home and I don’t even consider the house in my hometown as home. No matter what, even if there is a wife now at home, or even 4 wives, my life is not going to be the same again.”

I covered my face with my hands, inhaled deeply, and said, “Ever since I departed with Fluffy today, and not knowing when I will see him again, I just realized that my life will never be complete, at least for the time being. It will never be the same again.”

“Oh dear. You poor thing…” she said, and patted me on my shoulder.

I sighed, “I am okay. I will be okay. But I am not ready for this,” pointing at the phone, referring to the SMS, “I received the SMS when I was with Fluffy. I was so overwhelmed emotionally so I didn’t want to reply. She has the right to suspect anything she wanted to suspect. She has to right to call off this relationship. I know for a fact that no matter what I say at this moment, she will see it under a different light and she will continue to blame me. So I take my stance and I shall remain silent until the right time, even if the right time does not come.”

She took the phone, read the message, and said, “Oh my god, Adrian, does that mean…”

“Yes,” I interrupted her, “she wants a break-up.”

“Jessus!” she exclaimed loudly, “You guys have been going out for only 3 weeks!”

I smiled at her, a tired smile, “I know. This is also some sort of a record for me.”

She said, “But you did good, the things you have done for her. She just doesn’t know how to appreciate it. Give her time. I won’t be surprise if she were to SMS you tomorrow to apologize.”

“Maybe,” I turned and looked at her, “But I don’t want to give any hope on anything now. I don’t want to think about anything now. I am tired, not physically, but mentally exhausted. I can’t handle this now, so I rather not think. Right now I just want to keep my mind off things.”

“So what are you going to do when you get home?” She asked with concern, “Are you going to be OK?”

“Yes, I will be okay, as usual,” I replied, “You should know me well enough. I am a survivor. Besides, when I get home, first thing first is to light up the scented candle, and then take a long hot steamy shower, and use the Bodyshop Passion Fruit Body Scrub thing, and then just off the light and sleep as long as I want without waking up.”

She smiled, “That sounds like a great plan.”

“I know,” I answered, looking at the ceiling, “It’s not easy. But I got to move on. I don’t want to relapse back into depression again, so I must move on, and not think about it at the moment.”

“It’s not easy,” she said, “for the things that you went through. Don’t worry, things will get better.”

“I certainly hope so,” I answered, still looking at the ceiling, “Guess what. I think I will go ahead and get a dog of my own for companion. No one can replace Fluffy, but I really do need a good companion now.”

“That’s good!” she exclaimed excitedly, “You should have done that much earlier!”

“I know,” I explained, “but I was hoping that I would get the chance of getting Fluffy back. Now, the only hope is if she is migrating to U.S. with her father, only then she might want to let me take him. But she might send Fluffy to U.S. as well, you know, since money to them is just a small issue.”

I looked at the watch. It was pointing at 1:30am. I covered my face with my hands again, inhaled deeply, slapped my hands on my knee and stood up.

“I got to go,” I said, “I really need some rest. I have been tired and after seeing Fluffy, it was a mental drain for me.”

“You look tired. Go rest okay?”

“I will.”

I walked to the door, and while she closed the main gate, I turned, looked at her, and said, “I guess you can understand the feeling of not complete part.”

She looked at her living area, at the cats, and she said, “Yes, I can.”

“Night.”

15
May

Going down

“You had gone down a lot,” a girl told me recently when I was in front of the payment counter.

I gave her this facial reaction —> o.O

At first, I wondered why would she say that. I am yet to turn gay, so why would I “gone down a lot”? (If you don’t catch the drift, ignore this post completely as this is the essence of the whole post) By the way, I just had a new romance interest with an opposite sex, so how is that possible that she thinks I had gone down a lot?

So I asked, “Why did you say that?”

She replied, “Oh no, don’t get me wrong. The face is still the same, but your body has gone down a lot!”

This time, my facial reaction is like this —> O.O

I looked at her, stunned, and didn’t know what to say. She returned the gaze, and finally she realized something, and blushed.

“I mean you lost a lot of weight,” she added quickly.

“Oh! That!” I said, “Yeah, been trying to lose some Michelin. So you mean my face is still HUGE?”

She blushed again, “No no, you slim down. What I meant was that you are still recognizable, but it is a big difference compare to few months back when I first met you.”

“No worries,” I smiled, “but I was wondering why you said I had gone down a lot. I am straight.”

This time, her facial reaction was first like this —> o.O, and then she turned this —> O.O

I laughed, and I walked away from the counter.

01
Apr

Sugar Mommy

The other day, I had a conversation with a friend of mine on Google Chat. It started off something else, and then we talked about our busy working life, how she was headhunted by some professional recruiters even though she has just joined this new company for 2 months only, and how our busy working life has taken over our life and all that…

ME: “Wah lau eh! Everyday work like mad but still not earning lots of money.”

V: “Same here…”

ME: “How good it is to find a sugar mommy. I mean, when I say something is nice, BAM! She will buy it for me.”

V: “Hahaha! Don’t we all wish that?”

ME: “Ya, but most time than not, those sugar mommies are fucking ulgy, super fat, and old. It’s not easy to swallow, if you catch my drift.”

V: “HAHAHAHA! Must sacrifice! *winks*”

ME: “Hehe! True! Too bad I am not cute enough!”

V: “Hahaha! True!”

ME: “Kanneh… niamah….”

V: “HAHAHAHA!”

*    *    *   

Now, just for the sake of discussion, let’s just assume that there is a sugar mommy around. Now, imagine that when you just barely mentioned “Oh, the brand new Honda Accord is nice.” And next thing you know, a brand new Honda Accord is parked in front of your house the very next day, with your choice of color, engine specifications, and it even comes with a petrol card inside the glove compartment.

Wow…

Or how about you barely say that you are tired of this apartment of yours and wanted to look for something more decent, and again, before you know it, there was a set of keys to a prestige housing area, and the keys will lead you to a Semi-Detached home, with maids, gardens, and security alarm.

Woooow……

Now, isn’t life great if it happens this way?

But imagine again, for the sake of discussion, that this sugar mommy is most probably 60 years old with millions in the bank, while you are still in your prime age. Well, for sugar mommy, if you can make her “happy” only then you will be rewarded with those lavish gifts. Will you do it?

Or how about if the sugar mommy is someone young, like around your age, very pretty, very sweet, and again, for the sake of discussion, became your girlfriend or wife and you do love her deeply. Will you still take those gifts?

Let’s face the facts. I have met a lot of girls from rich family, and some of them are filthy rich. Let’s just assume that you have a lot of these kind of friends, and one of them you like, and then you guys became a couple. Of course, for the sake of this topic, let’s just say you are a normal working class, earning a medium salary, and she is the one with big spending power, like buying a car with cash without flinching a muscle, or buying a RM10,000 watch without thinking, so normally, she will pamper you with gifts. Will you accept those gifts?

For me, even though I don’t come from rich family, and I have to work my ass off to get to where I am today, I will firmly say that I won’t accept those gifts. Basic birthday gifts, yes, but not those super expensive stuff. I would prefer that I buy those myself.

Male ego? Nope. Chauvinist? Nope. It’s more like I like to depend on myself, earning what I can earn and spending what I can afford. What’s the use to wear a RM20,000 watch if I am only earning RM2,000 a month? What’s the use of driving a RM500,000 car if I earn only RM4,000 a month? What’s the use of living in a RM1,000,000 house if I am jobless? Nope, that is not my principles.

If I can afford a RM400,000 house, then RM400,000 house that is. If I can only afford a RM200,000 car, then RM200,000 car that is. I will work harder, earn more, and upgrade. I want to be able to take care of myself, instead of depending on others to buy me the things that I cannot afford.

But that’s just me. Feel free to rip the comment page apart.

But if you are rich, beautiful, and you want to be my sugar mommy, please apply within. I am starting to accept new applications for 2008/2009 season. Thank you.

15
Nov

Poker and Breast Feeding

Last night when I logged in to Facebook to play the Texas Hold’Em Poker, I saw the message box got some messages. So I read it.

In order to protect the privacy of these individuals, I will just call this dude Guy and this lady Girl (the fact is I forgot their names, but no one has to know that).

Guy: You must breast feed until the child is 2 years old.

My first thought was, “Sweet mother Jessus of all love, is this guy for real? I mean, we are here to play poker and yet this dude is talking about breast-feeding?”

My second thought was, “Maybe this dude is the father of the child so they are having domestic argument on the Poker table. That’s really wicked.” So I dug into this guy’s profile, and he is from Malaysia. I looked at the girl. Well, let’s just say she’s almost 100% Caucasian and her profile stated that she’s from Europe country. Then I read the ongoing conversation while playing my Poker.

Girl: Well, nowadays babies do get off breast feeding early.
Guy: Oh you and your modern thing.
Girl: Bottle is more convenient and easier for the father too.
Guy: I don’t understand. Convenient?
Girl: Yeah, when the father wants to spend some bonding time with the baby, he can bring the bottles so very convenient.
Guy: Bonding?
Girl: Yeah. You know, like spending time to get close to the baby.
Guy: You make me laugh, Girl. You and your idea make me scare to have baby.

Seriously, I was on a winning streak but I couldn’t stand it anymore. Even though I had good cards that time, I folded it, and typed a message to Guy.

ME: Dude, just shut the fuck up. No one gives a shit if you are going to have babies, and it is better if you don’t. Just leave other people alone as they have their own methods. If you wanna play Poker, play. If not, at least shut the fuck up!

By that, I left that table because I felt really embarrassed by this one particular Malaysian. Why can’t people have their own choice of feeding their babies? This dude seriously used the wrong choice of words, like “must”, and he scoffed at the idea of father-and-son bonding? Jesus, where do this kind of people come from? Are we still living in the stone age or if he is still living on a tree? It will be pretty amazing to be living on a tree and yet having internet connection.

I don’t know, and I sure as hell not interested to find out. I just hope this fucker will loose all his chips and will never win in his life time.

13
Nov

The Art of Online Chat

This morning a message popped up on my chat, and this person started chatting to me.

abell_cutie: Hi
me: Hello
abell_cutie: How are you
me: I am great. You?
abell_cutie: ur asl pls
me: age? I am old. Sex? Yes please! Location? I am here that what matters the most.

After that, I never hear from her anymore.

That is one great way to stop those strangers from straying too long and waste your time. Yes, I do that all the time to piss off the strangers, but who give a fuck? They won’t know who I am and shit like that. I am shielded by many layers of IP, the screen and the keyboard. So I am safe.

Okay, first of all, after all these years, why are people still messaging a stranger and ask for A/S/L? (that stands for Age/Sex/Location, just in case you want to know) Don’t they have something better to ask? I mean, this A/S/L shit has been going on for years and years and it seems like no one care to think of a better question! So my standard reply is always what I have told her, or if that is a “she” at all.

Just some suggestions to the younger generation…

me: Hello! How are you doing?
someone: Hi! I am great. You?
me: I am doing great! Do you facebook/MySpace? If you do, add me and let’s cybersex there!
someone: Sure! My email/url is XXXXXXXXXX

See, more direct and shit. Besides, you have a higher chance to seeing that person’s face on facebook/MySpace (if they do put their real picture, that is), know where they are from, know their age, know what they do, what they have done and what are their interests. Isn’t that better than asking all these same old shit like A/S/L? Everyone will get tired from typing “21/HOT male/Malaysia” and shit like that (by the way, I am not 21. Just a saying).

There are many new great things out there, like the development of Facebook, MySpace, or even Friendster. So why not be creative and think of something new to stay instead of sticking to the old mantra of A/S/L?

Please have the chat ethic and use the new things, be creative and stop being so suck!

Thank you.

06
May

The Mississippian joke

One day, a Mississippian went to Harvard University of Business School after he was accepted for the MBA program.

Amazed at the beauty of the campus and the marvelous structures, he got lost in the midst of locating the Business Department. He saw a distinguish young man walking towards him, so he asked the young man for direction.

“‘cuse me sir, can you please tell me where the Business Department is?” the Mississippian spoke in very strong Southern accent.

“Where are you from? We do not use verb at the end of a sentence because we are in Harvard, a very prestigious, if not the most prestigious, school in the world. We will only use proper English here,” The distinguish young man replied in an arrogant tone.

“Oh my bad,” the young Mississippian replied, “so can you please tell me where the Business Department is, asshole?”


That is one of the famous jokes I heard during my university time.

All the universities have a deep root and all the students and faculty has a strong sense of self-belonging and prestige in the universities. Most of the good universities have been around for centuries and normally they have a very colorful history, and the faculty members love to introduce the freshmen to a brief history, like who founded the university, when was it founded and how it grew, during the orientation. Of course, not everyone will remember exactly when and who founded it, but all the students will understand the history of it, the philosophy of their universities, and how they became who they are today.

Furthermore, almost all the students feel proud of their universities. Just look at the College Football game. There is rivalry, and there is RIVALRY. The students will show up to the game at the stadium, filling all the possible seats (there are around 20,000 seats available for a medium size university, and up to 80,000 seats for big universities), chanting in unison the slogan, flagging the logos, wearing the alumni shirts, showing off the team color, shouting for their teams. Yes, the support the teams get is enormous and it was one of the experience one cannot forget for the rest of his life.

But things are a bit different in Malaysia.

Recently I talked to a fresh graduate and I asked him about his university. His answer floored me to no end.

ME: “So tell me, what is XXX University about?”
F.G.: “It’s a place to study.”
ME: “Huh?”
F.G.: “You know, its a place where all the students study, a higher learning center.”
ME: “I know. I mean, do the XXX University has history, like how it was founded, the philosophy and how it became what it is today?”
F.G.: “Hey, it’s just a university, so what kind of history or philosophy you want?”

Note: F.G. represents Fresh Graduate

Besides, if you flip through the newspaper, you will be lucky to find any sports news on the local universities. Now I wonder if our local universities have any sports club or not, and do they organize any sports activities at all.

30
Nov

battle of the sexes

“I don’t know. They are all the same.” exclaimed Maria.

“No, they are not the same!” I said back defensively. Maria looked at me, and said, “Well, they all have wheels, and they take you to your destinations. So they are all the same.”

We were on a journey and somehow, our conversation went from normal stuff to cars, and I was telling her about my plan to buy a lot of cars. But she doesn’t understand the difference between a BMW M5, a Lamborghini, a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution and a Porcshe Cayenne. Naturally I was telling her how the M5 can go from 0 to 100 km/h in 4.3 seconds, and how the Lancer Evo IX can do the same in 5.3 seconds, and other various performance difference between those cars.She looked indifferently at me, and said, “Yeah, they can go from 0 to 100 km/h in one second different. Great, but in Kuala Lumpur, there’s traffic congestion everywhere, everyday. So you will still get stuck in the traffic with all the Protons and Peroduas. By the way, why need so many cars?”

“Well, when I need to go for fishing trip, I will need to go offroad, so Cayenne will be the choice. And during working days, I can drive the M5 which is comfortable, and Lamborghini is when we have a function to attend!” I said more defensively.

“Again, how many times a year you go offroad? Once?” Maria smiled cheerfully. She knew she was winning on this conversation.

“Well, I don’t understand why you need more than 50 handbags and 50 pair of shoes. I have just one wallet, and 4 pairs of shoes. All those bags are the same, to me at least.” I said, hoping to counter the points she made earlier.

She looked at me with big eyes, and slowly and carefully, she said, “Oh no! You are very wrong. No two bags are the same.”

“Yeah? How so? They all look the same to me.”

“There are bags that I bring to work, to party, to a dinner, and during weekends. So they are serving different purposes. Same goes to shoes.” She explained briefly.

“Yup! Same thing here. I will need different cars for different occasions.” I exclaimed happily.

“But your one Lancer Evo can buy me close to 60 handbags. So mine is cheaper.” She gave me a smile.

“Uhm….”

I know this is a battle that I cannot win.

05
Sep

conversation with k

The following is the conversation that K and I had to decide which place to go for dinner. It clearly showed how we are bombarded by choice for dinner.

——————————–

ME: what do you want to eat?
K:TDDI sandai? hahah since last night din go
ME: hmmm Maria suggested Umeya
K: what is umeya?
ME: the jap in Damansara Perdana
K: don want. not full one somemore expensive. waiting your StarHill jap food
ME: diu
ME: what’s the fucking difference? both also not full (for you) and expensive
ME: and not full meh? i remember that day both of u so darn full that u guys couldn’t even finish the ice cream
ME: some more you go starhill also waste money. Its a buffet and you can only eat so much. WASTE OUR FUCKING MONEY! But SH will be a good investment
ME: LoL
K: muahahhaha
K: SS2 shabu shabu then
K: hahahah
ME: You go Petaling Street eat. Starhill will be a waste on you. SH will be best investment
ME: hehehehe
K: ehh petaling street not a bad idea also..
K: hahaha
ME: ok lor, u drive
K: take LRT
K: hahah
ME: Ok!!!
ME: You come pick me up and then we go LRT
K: u take ikano shuttle bus to kelana jaya….meet us at kl central
K: we take ktm from midvalley to kl central
ME: Ok. On! Meet you there at 7pm. Bat Kin Bat San! (Note: It was already 6:50pm, and Bat Kin Bat San is Cantonese, roughly translate to “will wait til you are there”)
K: thn when come back we go to midvalley together gether & we send u to kelana jaya
ME: you go wait long long there ya???
K: kanneh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: so not sincere
ME: mahai
ME: want to eat also must take so much public transport… diu
K: no mah.. it is so fun…
ME: some more you dare to suggest a place so fucking far
K: can do survey also
K: hahahhaa
ME: why not Port Klang Bat Kut Teh, and we walk there???
K: tiu…u r the one tat suggest petaling street one ar

At the end, we went to Shabu Shabu at SS2 for dinner.

17
Aug

::: random (3) :::

[01:03:39] [c=#FF80C0]dAmaRi$[/c] says: man tat is large!
[01:04:58] Adrian says: oh why, thank you
[01:05:14] Adrian says: i probably think of something different than what you were thinking
[01:11:23] [c=#FF80C0]dAmaRi$[/c] says: omg
[01:11:26] [c=#FF80C0]dAmaRi$[/c] says: wat were u thinkin???
[01:12:23] Adrian says: oh
[01:12:24] Adrian says: hahahaha
[01:12:41] Adrian says: you don’t want to know
[01:13:15] [c=#FF80C0]dAmaRi$[/c] says: :|




 

November 2008
M T W T F S S
« Oct    
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930



Archives

Categories