“Adrian, you haven’t had any sex lately, have you?”
A close female friend was asking me that when I was at the cashier counter, paying for my Toffe Viennese at Marks & Spenser.
“Hello! Do I look like I am having hot sex with a super hot model every night?” I replied back while handing out the RM10 notes to the cashier. The cashier threw us a casual look while keying in the amount and counting the change.
“Well.. No…” she said.
“Thank you! After breaking up with you know who, I didn’t bed anyone, for your info. Why did you ask?” I said while taking the change from the cashier.
“I have known you long enough that you are not a sweet person (translation: I don’t like to eat sweet stuff), that I can tell. But suddenly you bought one bag of chocolate,” she took the package from my hand, and read, “topped with soft caramel and coated in smooth milk chocolate, now that’s sweet. And do you know that chocolate is a substitute for sex?”
“Is it?” I put the wallet back into my pocket, “I had no idea. Ya, maybe I had this urge to hump some living objects but it’s socially unacceptable so I am taking chocolate to satisfy my sexual needs.”
“Seriously!” she almost shouted, “don’t you read those research papers?”
I smiled at her, and said, “I only read porno magazines and so far they didn’t mention chocolate as substitute for sex. But they do have lots of chocolate sex and food sex kinda thing.”
She slapped me on my shoulder.
Suddenly, a lightbulb just “ding” and appeared in my mind. “Oh I know!” I exclaimed excitedly, “next time when I go clubbing, I will bring a box of Godiva chocolate and if any girl came to me and asked me for it, I will know it’s on for one night stand!”
She glared at me and then laughed.
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