Rant & Raves

First of all, let me state it loud and clear that I do have my problems, and I am far from perfect. Fuck! I can’t even use the word “perfect” in anything about me at all. I do have my flaws, a lot of them, that I have to carry for the rest of my life, but that’s just me.

I guess you can say that with my flaws, that’s who I am, and that is the complete package from Adrian Ang Inc.

I am the sort of person who can’t be bother to explain things that I have done, things that I am doing, and things that I would do in the future. I am basically living my own life and I am so independent that I don’t see the point of explaining anything to anyone.

Let me give you an example; If I were to tell you that I backpacked to Europe, and you wanted me to show proof or get an alibi, I would just smile and keep quiet. What do you expect me to do? Dig out the old passport to show the custom entry point and date, and what if I went Europe alone (which I did) so I don’t have an alibi? Do you see where this is heading? I just fail to see the point of showing any shit to prove something that I had done before.

I was brought up this way. Since teenage life, my parents gave me the freehand to do whatever I want. I was given the money and choice to pick the college that I wanted to attend, picked the course I wanted to take, and I did almost everything myself; taking a long bus journey for the first time to outstation to check out the college, get the information from the registrar office, and looking for a room to rent. Even when I was about to leave the country to further my studies, I still remember vividly how my family asked me which course I was taking while we were on our way to the airport. I told them I was taking Mechanical Engineering, and my dad said he thought I was doing computer science. My mom chipped in that she thought I was doing electrical engineering, and my sisters thought I was doing something else.

Funny and ironic, but that’s what happened, and how things are in my life.

That shows how much freehand they gave me without interfering on the life path I wanted to create for myself. I applied for the universities myself, booked the flight and with 2 luggages, I stepped into the plane and started my journey to the country I heard about so much but had yet to visit.

Of course, if the love one (like girlfriend or wife) wants to know, then I would take the painstaking time to explain. That’s just not me, but I know the need to explain once in a while. Other than that, I don’t bother. But when I do explain, and if she doubts me still, I would just keep quiet again and not bother to say a thing anymore.

Even until now, my mom don’t really ask me much about the ongoings in my life. I didn’t tell her that I broke up with Maria until last Saturday, and again, I didn’t explain why we broke up, and she didn’t ask. She knew that I know what I am doing, and she trusts me completely on my decision.

Some people might think that I am just self-centered. But I beg to differ. I care about the people around me, and I don’t hurt them in one way or another. But this is my life so I should have all the fucking rights to call the shot the way I want without explaining to anyone why I did what I did.

Anyway, the conclusion is this; this is who I am, so you can take it or leave it.