Over the weekend, I went to Singapore for business trip. Nothing fancy, just a one day trip (went in the morning and came back in the evening) and I was taking the coach.
When the coach was about to leave the station, my mind was racing about the discussion that I was about to have that afternoon, and I was running scenes on how things would go wrong so that I could prepare some answers for whatever questions that might come up during the discussion. I was also digging into my bag to ensure that I brought the supporting documents and whatever that is needed to be done.
All was well, so I finally relaxed, and tried to take a nap. I haven’t been sleeping much lately. On average, I slept for 2 hours maximum for the past few days, and I really needed the rest. I closed my eyes, my mind drifted to a land far far away, and I was sound asleep soon. I didn’t dream. I haven’t had a dream for months because most of the dreams and hopes were shattered into million pieces and at the end, all I got were disappointments. I had enough of that, so for months I had refused to dream, or even acknowledge that I had one.
Then, out of sudden, I woke up. I was dizzy, and I thought we had reached the custom check point or something, but the scenery outside the window was still moving. I thought there was an accident or something. I looked around, and all was quiet except the coach engine humming softly at the back, and the driver was chatting quietly with the assistant at the front. I fished out my mobile phone, thinking that maybe it vibrated or something so it woke me up. Nope, no messages, no missed calls. No nothing.
I relaxed, sat back into the reclined seat, and looked out the window.
At first I didn’t realize it, but a sense of sorrow hit me hard. I thought I was just giddy from lack of sleep or something like that and I hated it when I woke up from my sleep by surprised. So I just looked out the window and enjoy the scenery.
The trees, road markers, and everything else passed by in a blurry image. It is just like time, flying pass us at extreme speed, and sometimes it is so fast that the things around us will become a blurred image, except that the scene outside can be created again if I were to travel the same road at the same direction, but time cannot be reversed. How I wished, for many nights, that I could turn back the clock. If I could, a lot of things would be different right now.
Anyway, while I was looking outside the window and watched those blurred images flew by me, I suddenly realized why I was in sorrow…
Almost exactly one year ago, I was on the same coach (Nice++, just in case you are wondering) with Maria on the way to Singapore also. It was almost the same weather (it was cloudy in the morning), and we were holding hands, cuddling under the very chilling air-conditioner vents, and talking while watching the sceneries flying by us. She was going to Singapore for a meeting while I was companying her down and did a market survey on Singapore (which is related to my company), but my intention is more so on companying her down.
If you follow this blog for some time now, I am sure you read about how we started, so sometimes we would go back to Singapore to re-visit and stuff like that. We used to stay at the Robinson Quay Hotel, Marriott Hotel, Copthorne Orchid Hotel, and etc. Last year, at around the same time, we were staying at the Copthorne Orchid Hotel, and this trip, the final destination for the coach was also Copthorne Orchid Hotel.
One year ago, it was a nice trip. Both of us were happy, chatting all the time, and on the way back at night, we were hugging each other to fall asleep.
But how things had changed drastically in less than a year.
That day, I was going down to Singapore, on the same road, on the same bus, all alone, and single.
When I reached Singapore, I saw the familiar buildings, like Siemens, and saw the familiar names like Bukit Timah, Toh Guan Road, and the happy moments we had at the French Village. The memory came back to me, and I was trying my very best to recall if the scene I saw during the weekend was any different than almost a year ago. Nope, nothing has changed at all. The material doesn’t change, but human does.
It’s amazing, isn’t it?
One moment, when the memory is still fresh, things are forever changed.
One moment, people can change drastically and turn their backs on you.
One moment, you remember the place as it was, exactly like how it was when you left. But this time, the emotion and feelings towards that place is just so different.
In the evening, when I was done with my stuff, I climbed up to the Nice++ coach again at Copthorne Orchid Hotel. I wished that I got time to spend just one night there, but I was in a hurry. So finally, I climbed up to the coach, and I turned and looked out. It used to be two shadows merging into one, but that weekend, all I saw was my shadow reflecting on the road under the bright orange-yellow street lamp. I passed the single ticket to the bus operator, and started my journey back to Malaysia, alone, and single.
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The First Encounter
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