During the Chinese New Year, I had visited many friends to catch up for old time sake. Life has been busy for me for the past few years and I didn’t really have to the time to chat too much. Whenever I was home after work, I was normally beaten and just wanted to rest, so I didn’t really have the motivation to go out.
But during Chinese New Year, it is a holiday break for me, so I decided to catch up with old friends and see how they are doing. And after spending time with them, I noticed a few things. I have pretty good observation capabilities and a lot of times, if I want to, I can see a lot of things that is so subtle that it will require a microscopic magnifying glass just to see them.
Some of my friends were married and they were doing really well financially. I mean, for example, one of them is having a great business that creates a lot of positive cash flow for him. Another one is a senior manager in some international banks. Another one is some senior sales manager that is making 5 digits income per month.
They upgraded to a bigger house, bigger car, bigger dogs, and the interior design of the house are basically impeccable, for them at least. I mean, on the surface, everything was well. Then I noticed something odd. First of all, the feeling of the houses were really cold. It’s not like those warm and fuzzy feelings a real home should emit. Okay, there were a great number of good paintings, decorative items from Bali or somewhere exotic, and the furniture were carefully selected. But somehow it just feel cold.
And then, I also noticed that my friends, with their wives or husbands, always appear happily married in front of the guests, but when they were in the kitchen to prepare some drinks, behind the curtain from the guests and away from earshot from the guests, I noticed that they were not talking to each other, and treating each other like some invisible people.
And then, another few friends that I visited, they have normal paying jobs, they live in small houses, like those single-story terrace house, and when I arrived, standing next to my car, I saw that the couple were doing gardening together, both of them laughing and talking happily. When they invited me to go in, the house, with however less fancy furniture and decorations, emitted those really warm and fuzzy feeling, a feeling that a real home should have. When they sat down to talk, I noticed that they were holding hands and kept looking at each other. They are not newly wed, mind you.
So how important it is for all of us to have a big house, huge car, and a good paying job? What’s the meaning of all these material luxury that we are enjoying but if our live is just so shallow and there is no real happiness? Or should we be contended with our life, and be happy with whatever we have? Does that mean we are not looking forward? Does that mean we are not advancing in our life?
Of course, for me at least, I would hope that I have big house, big car, big dogs, great career that makes me millions every year, and still have a loving wife, adorable kids, and a very happy life where we can just do pottery together in the garden, feed the Koi fish in the pond, take a leisure walk around the area, and love each other very much. And then we can take our 2nd, 3rd, or the Nth honeymoon everywhere around the world.
But if let’s say you can only choose one, either being rich but not happy, or being happy but normal (not enough to spend lavishly but enough to survive). What is your call?
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