Rant & Raves

Over the weekend, Maria went back to Singapore for work-related stuff, and she asked me if I wanted to take Fluffy in during the weekend. I wanted to, I really wanted to. But my living condition is not suitable for him. I would say that Fluffy will definitely not feel comfortable living with me. So I agreed to her suggestion that she shall put Fluffy at the groomer’s place for boarding. Furthermore, the groomer has 8 dogs so Fluffy could play with them.

There was a General Election during the weekend, so I took it as an opportunity not to show up. The groomer has became a close friend over all these years and only one of them knew that Maria and I broke up. I didn’t tell anyone because I don’t think it is necessary but most importantly, I wanted to keep it alive. Alive in the sense that in the future, we might be able to patch things up and be back together. But if things really don’t work out, I still don’t see the necessity to inform them. They will find out themselves.

Anyway, on Sunday, I couldn’t stand it anymore so I went to the groomer’s place to visit Fluffy. It has been a long time since I saw him and I really miss that little fluffy furkid.

When I reached the groomer’s house, all 8 dogs plus Fluffy came out to greet me. He stood on his hind legs and scratched my leg. I was so happy and touch, so I scooped him up and hugged him, kissed him, and talked to him. It has been a while, even one week seems like a year to me, so I took the opportunity to hug him and talk to him. But after less than 2 minutes, he grew impatient and wanted to go down to the floor. I let him.

He ran towards the other dogs and started humping another Shih Tzu. For the next one hour, he didn’t come to me again and he was busy playing with other dogs. Even sometimes when I called him, he didn’t acknowledge me until I used a very fierce tone.

Then the groomer invited me for dinner, so I stayed. After taking the dinner, I went to play with Fluffy while he was playing with other dogs. Well, I am not sure if it was accident or what, but he bite me. Well, it was partly my fault because while he was playing, I pulled his hind leg and he just turned and attacked. Of course I wasn’t blaming him. I couldn’t even bring myself to scold him.

It was nothing serious. It was only a small tiny cut on my hand, and it wasn’t painful at all. But on my heart, it was a deep cut and it was really painful like someone just squeezed my heart with all his/her might. I didn’t say a thing. I just smiled at all the watching eyes and continued to play with him (actually its more like I was sitting there watching him play with other furkids in the house).

Not long after that, I went back. I wanted to stay longer to play with him but I was really tired from lack of sleep and I felt bad for disturbing them for so long. So I took my belongings and walked to the gate. I turned and saw that Fluffy was still busy playing with the dogs. I opened the gate, looked again, and he didn’t even come out from the door to take a look.

I can’t blame him. It has been 5 months now and the most I get to see him is only once a week. I have been out of his life for 5 months, so it is normal that the distance between us had grown further and further. But it still sadden me greatly.

If I had a choice, I would wish that I could turn back the clock so all these will be just a bad dream. Unfortunately, I can’t change the facts and I must admit the defeat. My beloved Fluffy is growing further and further away from me.