Rant & Raves

When you attend a Western wedding ceremony, or in a movie, you would normally hear the priest asking the groom/bride this during a wedding ceremony, “Do you _________, take __________ as your legally married husband/wife, and promise to love, honor, and trust her/him in sickness and in health, in adversity and prosperity, and to be true and loyal to her/him so long as you both shall live?”

Ok, I will take the liberty to stress on two points.

Adversity:
1. adverse fortune or fate; a condition marked by misfortune, calamity, or distress, or
2. an adverse or unfortunate event or circumstance

In short, that means when the time is bad.

Sickness:
1. a particular disease or malady, or
2. the state or an instance of being sick; illness.

In short, that means when you are not feeling well, physically or mentally ill.

So, what it is saying is you got to stick to your spouse even if you have to go through a very difficult time, be it life, financially, work related, or if your spouse is ill, or when you are having good fortune, you got to share with your spouse.

That is a pretty tall order, no?

I mean, how many people can actually say that he or she will stay with his/her spouse when the time is bad? Good time, yes, I can understand, that is easy to spend your life with some one when the time is good. But how about during bad time? I am talking about something really nasty.

Example: How about if your spouse is having terminally ill cancer and on the hospital bed for the past 10 months. Will you be staying with him/her, beside his deathbed and just encouraging him or her to be strong and fight the illness? Or would you try to stay away as much as you can? You might say you would stay put, but honestly, try to imagine that you have to pick up his/her puke all the time, clean him/her up twice a day, feed him/her 3 times a day, or how about cleaning him/her up after he/she has just shitted in his/her own pants? Or how about if he/she met a terrible accident and he/she is disable from the neck-down, so you have to carry him/her up the car, in the house, onto the bed, wash him/her, and many other things? Try to imagine that, and also imagine that you are not like filthy rich so you got to work day time job as well while managing your life to take care of your completely disabled spouse.

Or how about another example: If his/her business fails and he/she is in complete financial disaster, so there’s totally no income from his/her part and you are the sole breadwinner. But obviously, your income is limited, so the credit card companies, the house loan, the utilities, the landlords, they are all chasing you constantly for the little money you have. Will you still stick to him or her? . Imagine the constant pressure that you will get from these debtors, calling you nonstop everyday to chase you, and how about maybe, just maybe, some harassment from the thugs (some of them call themselves Professional Debt Collector but we all know what they are) to collect those debts? Will you still stick to him or her? If you just walk out from the marriage, you can just enjoy your life again, and you don’t have to worry how you going to spend your income because that income is more than enough to sustain yourself

So do you see where I am going here?

It’s easy to say “Hey, let’s get married!” and it is easy to answer, “Oh yeah, why not?”

That’s why the divorce rate has been in the up trend since God knows when. That’s why a lot of couples are arguing to no end. That’s why a lot of people are in distress because the other person chose to walk out from his/her life when time was difficult.

Make no mistake. I have seen some really amazing couples that has gone through really tough time and they had some really amazing relationship.

Oh no, I am not a marriage counsellor. But my advice to all you love birds out there; think careful and long, and take a good look at your partner, and ask yourself this “Will I promise to love, honor, and trust her/him in sickness and in health, in adversity and prosperity, and to be true and loyal to her/him so long as we both shall live?”

If your answer is a YES after a long and hard evaluation, then congratulations, go get married. Mind you, I am saying that if you really think you can be there when the time is really bad, not like an obligation or duty, but it is something you are willing to do. And let’s hope you won’t change your mind the day after your wedding.

If your answer is NO, then you should probably look else where for someone you can really share your life with. It is easy to share good stuff, but it is the bad stuff that matters. It always is.

As for me…

Well, let me put it this way. From my previous failed relationship with Maria, I have decided to stay single for as long as I can. I would like to make it “Single For Life” if I can, and I will work hard on that mission. Some of you will say that I don’t deserve to be single for the rest of my life. But trust me, that is something I want to do.

So why am I writing about all these stuff? Well, let’s just say I am inspired by something that has happened to write about this, and just let it stay that way.