There are things that I have been contemplating on publishing on my personal blog. After a long and deep thought, I have decided to publish this story not because it is a juicy bit but because this is my very personal blog and the entries here are the milestones in my life. So I might as well publish it here.
Maria and I are over.
I am okay, or at least I will be.
Some of you might have already known. But I think my blog-followers (if I have any, which I seriously doubt) deserve to know about this piece of news. This news might come as a surprise to many, or those who are on Facebook might have noticed that something was amiss since I was listed as “Married” for a long time in my relationship profile, then “It’s complicated” and last night I changed it to “Single”. This came to me as a huge surprise and impact as well. To be honest, I didn’t see it coming, or should I say I was in denial in the first place, not wanting to see this, not wanting to acknowledge this, and not wanting to admit this.
One month ago Maria decided that she needed the “space” and “cooling period”. Don’t ask me about the reasons so just let it be that way. All I can say that we have grown into separate ways in this one month period, so much so that there is this really huge gap, a big hole, between us. I have moved out from the apartment one month ago, and I am still constantly on the lookout for a better place to stay compare to what I found when I was in a hurry to move out.
I also gave up the custody of Fluffy, the 3 years old Shih Tzu.
The reason why I gave up the custody wasn’t because I don’t love him. God knows how much I adore and love the little fluffy guy, but my current living condition do not permit me to have any pets, and Fluffy was a gift that I bought for Maria 2 years and 8 months ago as her birthday present. He is very attached to her and clearly she can take good care of him, so I shouldn’t just disrupt everything in my path and I have decided to move on peacefully. It is not easy, but I must consider what is best for Fluffy.
It has been tough for this one whole month. Did I try to reconcile with Maria? Yes, I did but somehow I managed to get the things from bad to worse. The last time I tried to reconcile with her, we ended up arguing and we were basically on each other’s throat.
But I do still care about her. We had been together for 3 1/2 years, a very good and sweet 3 1/2 years.
It is not easy, at least for me, to go back to singlehood. But I always believe that tomorrow will be a better day.
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sorry adrian. last time i only selected the “vacation” category and read about your trip. am sorry. hope my ignorance has not created u any bad time.
anyway, as i always tell others, u lose 1 coz there is a better one coming. i also tell myself like this. maybe it’s a silly way, but don’t care, as long as it makes me feel better.
My vacation category is a pathetic category since I hardly go for vacation nowadays. I mean, work has taken over the life and there’s little time for vacation. It’s okay, its not ignorance on your part but due you didn’t catch this post.
It’s important for us to believe something, anything, that will make us feel better. But I rather don’t want to think and concentrate on improving other aspect of my life, and work harder.