Okay, if you happen to be fat and you are a female, always remember that I am talking about someone else fatter, so its not you. Yup, you are definitely not fat.
The other day when I was in a hurry to leave the office to go somewhere for a meeting, a fat bitch zoomed by me in a green Waja. At first I didn’t think much about her and I was busy making a phone call before I drove off. When I was done with the phone call, engaged first gear to drive off, I saw her green Waja parallel parked not far from me.
I have no qualm with people parallel park (or so-called illegal parking). But the problem is, the parking lot was very empty and there were a lot of space available. I looked at her, and I saw her opening the trunk, took something out and walked into a shop nearby. I thought to myself, “Ahh! A fat delivery bitch whom blocking my way.” I looked at the space and it was really tight, and since I reverse park, it was almost impossible for me to go out (and it’s a one-way traffic road too).
That fucking bitch just walked off even after my blazing stare, and she didn’t give a shit about me having trouble going off from my parking spot. I was really pissed, and I thought of getting out of my car, use the car lock that I bought from Ace Hardware and shattered the windshield of that bitch’s car. But I resisted the temptation, because (1) my office is just right up there so she could find me easily, (2) she got such a fat ass that if she were to sit on me, I don’t think I could survive under that kind of pressure, and (3) the restaurant owner next door saw it and walked over to her and asked her to move her fat ass ugly car.
But clearly, the fat bitch gave the restaurant owner a piece of her mind as I saw her waving her hands animatedly, with the soggy fat around her arms flapping like our national flag. Yup, she wasn’t going to move her fat ass until she’s done with her things, and she didn’t fuck care about someone else. Then a moment of brilliance stroke me, at that precise moment. I thought of going down, using my boyish charm and good look to seduce her, and make her move her stupid car away so I can go on with my journey. I took a deep breath before I were to get off my car to talk to her, and then I saw her again, and I choke myself with the deep breath that I took and I almost puke.
Holy shit, that is the ugliest fucking fat bitch I have ever seen in my life.
So quietly, I maneuver the car with a 9 point turn, and get off the tight spot without bothering her. I think I would puke even if she is just within my sight, so I was better off not confronting her or got near her.
Now, if you think you are fat (I will definitely not think that way of my dearest reader), you can avoid to be in this category by (1) run 20 km per day and eat nothing but vegetable for the rest of your life to keep in Size 2 or below, or (2) be nice and courteous so people around you like respect you and be nice to you.
The choice is yours.
Now I am going to run my 20 km for today and eat my share of vegetable.
Mwaha, what an inconsiderate auntie. It’s ok, we’re civilized people.. we shouldn’t fight with those uncivilized gorillas.. But if I’m you, I would honk like mad until she gets her car moved. Hahahaha… No no don’t..what if she vandalized your car since you’re office is just nearby? I’m so sensitive with this issue now. sigh..
Ya lor! I wanted to argue with that fat auntie, but then I realized I am more civilized that her, and of course I didn’t want her murder me by sitting on me. Besides, she was just hanging around below my office so if she really wanted to “kena” me, she could do a lot of things just to annoy me, like you said, vandalize my car. No, it is not safe at all to do all that nearby my office.