2006 August archive at Rant & Raves

Archive for August, 2006

Aug

::: national day :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: life and observation

August 31st, 2006, our nation’s 49th National Day.

We fought for our independence from the Great Britain, and it was a long fought war and effort. Many lives were sacrificed, and families were torn apart. It was during my great father’s era and they told me stories about the war, the difficult times, and the lack of stability. Finally, we got our independence on August 31st, 1957.

In order to celebrate this very memorable day, our National Day, I have ordered a seamstress to sew a shirt for me, with our National Flag. Then, I have also ordered the mini flags so that I can erect them on my car. I have ordered 200 of them, to be exact. I have designed a way to put all 200 flags on my car on August 29th, so if you see a car with shitload of flags, that will be me. Give me a wave or something if you see me.

And then, I have already sent out an official memo to all my staff that I am going to give them a one month paid-leave to celebrate this memorable day. Yes, ONE MONTH! So they can celebrate and spend time with their children, tell them war stories, and bring them for vacations, on company expenses (of course I am going to put a budget on that. If not they might bankrupt me).

And if you believe any of the above, then you are a dumbass. The National Day part is correct (August 31st, 2006 is the 49th National Day), but if you think that I will celebrate the national day in such a patriotic way, then congratulations! You have just won an all expense unpaid trip to Europe for a month.

If the government wants us to display more flags, why not make the flag cheaper? Or how about giving out flags, for free, so that people don’t have to fork our their hard-earn money into something that got display only once a year? Right now those flags (standard size and mini plastic flag for the car) are just so friggin’ expensive, and its a rip off.
I do not mean that I don’t love my country. I love it, but I am not ready to die for it. I have my complaints, and I do appreciate the effort those politicians are trying to give us a peaceful and stable life. Unfortunately, their effort is not good enough.

First, we are slapped with high taxes on automobile, and then we are slapped with higher fuel cost because the government is cutting down on subsidy. Great! Remove the subsidy and let the fuel price go up, but remove the automotive taxes as well so that we can affort better car at a better price. Proton? Yeah right, it will go burst sooner or later because after taking and learn technology from someone for over 20 years, they still can’t design and build a better car. Want a new car? Better slap four wheels onto a tin can, and it might be a better car than Proton.

Did I mention that our MAS tickets are more expensive than others? I won’t even bother to run examples here. Go to the website or any travel agencies and check it out yourself.

That is just great. Seem like our economy is picking up. Everything is going up. Fuel price, electricity price, air-ticket price, and etc. The only thing that’s not going up is salary. I have friends who are having trouble to make ends meet because everything is going up, and they are having a tough time to pay the bills on time.

I love my country, but if I do have plans to move to a better place when our kids are growing up. We want to provide them with a safer place, and a better environment to grow up. When the situation becomes unstable and unsafe, we will move out instantly and will never hesitate. No question asked.

Seriously. National Day is a holiday, that’s it. End of story. Oh! And sales period too at major shopping mall. But I am not going to get stuck on traffic for hours to go to a shopping mall, spend the next hour looking for a parking, and then fight for one piece of shirt with the aunties next to me. Instead, I will just kick off my shoes, relax, and feel the wind running through my hair. Yes, I will be resting, and no working.

Aug

::: the guide to write a presentable resume :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: work

I have been requested by some to give some tips on writing resume because I am good at it (so good that a lot of my friends landed the interview after I edited their resumes), and I have seen a lot of bad resumes to be able to spot one from miles away. So take a pen and copy the basic rules to edit your resume. Or print this post. Or save it. Whatever.

Rule #1 : Keep your resume clean
It is okay to put your picture and do some background pictures, but keep the overall look clean and tidy. But the biggest mistake is putting everything together. So keep your resume clean by separating your education background in one section, and your experience in another. Keep some space between each section to make it easier to read so your resume doesn’t appear cluttered.

Rule #2 : Be professional
Avoid using funny self-portrait picture of you sticking your tongue out while pulling your eyelid. But don’t appear angry over the picture either. Just smile with courtesy and that will be fine. But if you are friggin ugly, try to avoid putting your picture in your resume because you are just going to scare the shit out of the person receiving it. Without putting your pic (if you are ugly), you might get a chance of getting an interview. (If you are pretty, forward me your resume please)

Also, avoid using your email address such as sexypinkylady_28@hotmail.com, lazyfox@yahoo.com, babeylicious@gmail.com or something like that. They are okay for personal use, but keep it personal and share it with your friends. For resume, please keep it professional, and use email that spells your name properly, like terry.wong@gmail.com or adrian@msn.com. Put yourself in the managers’ shoes and think of the impression you will have when you see those stupid email addresses.

Rule #3 : Explain about your experience and what you have learned
A lot of people failed to include their experiences and educational background in their resume. Yes, they did include the institutes they attended, the period and such. But did they include the projects they have done, the notable achievements they got during their stay in those institutes? How about some special subjects you have taken, like nuclear physics, atomic chemical, and human genome? Okay, if you have taken nuclear physics, atomic chemical and human genome, you shoud not even do a resume. That’s a waste of time. You will just get hired even if you are dirt ugly.

Rule #4 : Be honest
Avoid using information that is not true. If you do not have a father as rich as Bill Gates, don’t put it there (if you do, then why the fuck you are looking for a job? Just buy that fucking company and have fun with it!). If you do not know much about C++, Perl, or PHP, please refrain from putting “Knowledge in: C++, Perl, PHP…”, because you are just going to put yourself into deepshit.

Rule #5 : Keep it relevant
Yeah, its great to know that you are interested in flowers, but do I need to know about that shit? Nope. My main interest is to know if your knowledge and experience will help me and help the company to earn shitload of money. So please keep your interest about flowers to yourself and only show me what I am interested in, which is how I can use you to the limit to earn the millions.

So if you wanna put Personal Details, great. But you don’t have to tell me how tall you are, how fat you are, and what’s your stats (but if you are 34C - 24 - 34, forward me your resume).

Rule #6 : Forget about all the rules above
Yup, just forget about all the rules I mentioned above. In fact, there’s no rule 1, 2, or 3. There is ONLY ONE RULE: use your common sense.

Yup, that’s it. Enjoy!

Aug

::: MBA :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: observation and work

I used to know a few friends who are already taking part-time MBA (that is Masters in Business Administration for those who are intelligent-challenged) courses or contemplating in taking it. The course is designed for working class who can only attend classes during night time and/or weekend.

I used to congratulate them upon hearing the news. For me, I admire those who keep “upgrading” themselves and trying to learn more to apply the knowledge in business. Unfortunately, when they explained to me the reason why they are taking those part-time courses, I always cringed. The top three reasons:

With the certificate, they can get a promotion easier.
They want the management to know they are taking the course so that they can get a pay increase during year end appraisal.
If no promotion or pay increase, they can find a job easier with the certificate.

Now, that defeats the purpose of taking MBA courses at all. Taking the course is meant to learn about different things, and learn how to apply those new-found knowledge to great use and use the advance knowledge to make their work easier. Do they ever think of how the new knowledge can help the company to perform better? No, its all about promotion. If they can’t get the promotion, they will jump ship to another company and they think that the MBA certificate will put them in an advantage position.

I certainly cannot deny that they will have a certain amount of advantage over other candidates when they are looking for new job, but the thing is, the purpose of getting the damn MBA is all wrong!

Sometimes, getting an extra degree doesn’t mean that you are smart. The bosses can promote someone who doesn’t poccess a degree over you if you are not smart. Of course, some will argue that the ability to graduate with degree surely isn’t stupid, but I am not talking about book smart. I am talking about street smart. I have met with a young chap who is street smart. When the boss asked him and his other colleague, with a MBA degree, to do pricing evaluation and how they should price their new products, the MBA colleague went to his computer, crunched in shitload of numbers, scrunitized the fixed cost, labor cost, variable cost, delivery charges, and applied in a margin for themselves and their dealers. My friend just went out to the street, checked on the competitors prices, go back, studied his own product and compared it with competitions, and came up with a pricing after checking with margin and costs.

He got a good promotion from his boss, where else his colleague became the laughing stock because based on all his MBA learning, he priced his product much higher than competitors, which will not attract buyers.

I don’t need a MBA degree to prove that I know more than them. Yes, I can admit that I know more than them, maybe not on the fancy lingo/terms they like to use, but I do know more than most of them and I don’t need a fucking paper to prove that, and I apply those knowledge daily on business use.

Aug

::: fresh grad unemployment rate :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: Complaints, common sense, people and work

There were reports about Malaysia fresh graduate unemployment rate to be 19,000 to 60,000 (depends on which report you want to refer to). Well, at first I was wondering what went wrong, but nowadays I have a good idea why it happened.

I had an opportunity to interview (unofficially, that is) a fresh graduate, and he is looking for a programmer position. It just happened as I was at the place, and we just started conversation. He showed me his resume, which was a mistake; the resume was… blank. Let me put it this way, he just put in the institute he went to, and the period that he was there. No information on the things he knows, the projects he has done, and the whole resume was 3/4 of a page. I mean, 3/4 OF A PAGE!!!!!

Then, during the unofficial interview, he was clearly having a big dream of working as programmer, like those working in Google Inc., with a big room, kickass computer with multiple split screens and total freedom. Oh! The thing that tops it all was that he was also looking at big salary and profit-sharing, like company shares, full medical, and vacation. I asked him what kind of salary he’s looking at, and he said, “Oh not a lot. But I am thinking of basic salary of 3,500 Ringgit with good allowance. It’s best if can provide company car also.”

I almost fell down to the floor. Can someone please knock some fucking sense into this idiot?

I thought he was joking, so I studied him. Nope, he was dead serious and clearly, he meant what he ~~dreamt~~ said. I thanked him for the information, and I left that place ~~shortly~~ quickly.

That reminded me of an experience I had with another fresh graduate. It was a hot humid afternoon as usual, and I was talking to this fresh graduate art student because I was looking for a part-time graphic designer, or freelance for a project basis. After telling him what I wanted, he charged me 5,000 frigging Ringgit for the project, and he doesn’t want to tie down as part-time, and only interested to work as freelance. The project detail is: need simple graphic for website, such as some sidebar graphic, banner background, and link icons.

I blinked, looked at him, and lost all my verbal ability for about 2 minutes. I asked again, to confirm about the project fee, and he confirmed I didn’t loose my listening ability as well. He proceeded to explain to me that he need to create database entries, and a lot of programming to get things done. Again, I looked at him. Well, I was asking for graphic design, not website design and maintenance.

No wonder those fuckwits couldn’t find a job.

Aug

::: old, wrinkle, and saggy :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: about me and life

I am definitely getting older.

I thought I could defy aging, or I could age gracefully, and be as good looking as Richard Gere when I am 90. But no, I found out that’s not the case.

Alright, that was a catchy opener eh?

Of course I didn’t age suddenly. I did not wake up one morning and found out that I have put on 200 years of age on my face/look. I did not wake up one day and find that I am having erectile dysfunction and need help from Viagra. Nope, I am still looking good as ever, or even better now that I have gained weight, the wrinkles were burried under shitload of fats.

Its the mental thing; I am getting forgetful. Here are just a few examples: when Maria tells me something, and when I looked away and started working on stuff, I totally forget about it. Or when a friend bought something on my behalf, I could forget to pay her back (How convenient eh? Unfortunately she remembered and reminded me). Or how about this; I was stopped by a stupid traffic for minor violation, and few days later I could forget where, when, or how I got the ticket. Right now I am still having a hard time cracking my head to think of the location, when was it, and how the heck I got stopped.

I didn’t realize the seriousness of this issue until during the weekend. I was on my way to hometown, and I brought Fluffy with me. Then, after more than an hour of traveling and on the highway, I suddenly jumped (literally, that is) because I just realized I forgot about Fluffy’s Pad! (That’s the name I call it. Its actually those pee-poo pad for pets) I mean, I have been taking Fluffy home with me hundreds of times, and how could I forget something so important? I contemplated about U-turn (yeah, on the highway), and seriously considered calling a friend up to buy some pads for me and deliver it to my house.

Then I thought to myself: Ah! Fuck it. I think I will let Fluffy use the newspaper for once. I know Maria would object to it, but it was too much trouble to go back to take those pads. And then I slapped my head (literally, again) because I forgot that the shops in my hometown are selling the pads also! Then I laughed like a mad man, while Fluffy looked at me like I was some crazy bastard.

When I reached the shops in my hometown, they were closed. Fuck!

At the end, Fluffy got to use the newspaper. That poor little bugger couldn’t get used to it and he was holding back all his pee and shit until he turned green (under the hair, that is).

So I will buy another PDA phone, and key in all these important information. Anyone willing to sponsor a bit? While you are at it, please sponsor a digital camera as well (at least 6 megapixel, 5x zoom and don’t forget about the memory card too). Email me or call me for wire-transfer details. Thanks!

Aug

::: first anniversary :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: General

Today mark the first anniversary since my very first blog.

So let’s reviewed what I have done over the year.

…..

Besides posting around 212 blogs over the 365 days, I have done nothing much, except…

1. Discover I had the slightest ability to write.
2. Got to know a few new friends.
3. …

Okay, that’s all I have accomplished. But the biggest gainer is my weight!

Its time to go back to the treadmill.

Aug

::: Fluffy the Famous :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: fuck ups

Over the weekend, I sent Fluffy for grooming after coming back from hometown. Well, the place was usually crowded so I gave the groomer a call before dropping him there.

ME: “Hey, groomer? Adrian here. I am wondering if you have time for basic grooming?”
Groomer: “I am so sorry, today is very tight. Can you please make an appointment for tomorrow?”
ME: “Oh… hmm.. okay, that should not be a problem.”
Groomer: “By the way, what is your pet’s name?”
ME: “Fluffy.”
Groomer: “Oh! Fluffy ah? No problem! Just send him over anytime!”
No matter if I was the one who made the call, or Maria called, it’s always the same. When the groomer heard Fluffy’s name, he’ll be very delighted and always welcome him. So from now on, when we are going to call the groomer, we will just greet the groomer this way, “Hello! Groomer? Fluffy’s owner here……”

Anyway, I left him there with the groomer, and took the groomer’s dog (a Golden Retriever) out for a while, and later we went to Starbucks to wait for Fluffy. A lot of people came over and pat the Golden Retriever and we were just sitting there, playing a bit and a lot of patting.

Then, when it was time, I went back with the Golden Retriever to the groomer’s place to pick up Fluffy. Yes, after the bathing and basic clipping, he was all fluffy!

Then we went down to Starbucks again and this time, I bought coffee. I didn’t buy coffee because the Golden Retriever was so huge that it wasn’t nice to marge into the shop to order my drinks. But Fluffy is so small and I carried him so it was all good.

We sat down, and quickly a bunch of girls (I am taking a bet that they are maids from Indonesia because one of them told me she was from Jakarta) came over, and asked me, nicely, if they could hold Fluffy. I said OK, and handed him to them. They were playing, hugging, kissing him all over (And there I was, thinking “Shit, there goes his bathing session” because those girls were wearing heavy perfume and make-up) and one of them actually sat down and showed me the pic of her dogs (amazingly, she was using Motorola RZOR phone).

After that, their bus came so they rushed over to catch their bus. Not a minute later, there were two girls, nice looking girls, walked past and saw Fluffy. Instantly they stopped and started talking to Fluffy, patting him, scratching his ears (while he’s on my lap) and I was thinking, “Mahai, how come I don’t get this kind of treatment?”

The two girls stayed for about 3 minutes, and then they went off to meet their friend. Less than a minute later, a dude who worked at Starbucks came over, sat down, and asked me if he could hold Fluffy. Again, I passed him to the dude, and he was playing with him, holding him, patting him and all that.

I drank my coffee slowly, and then we left Starbucks, and headed to one of the stores because I need to buy something. When we walked past the girls (the two nice looking girls), they turned and tried to hold Fluffy’s hand and said, in a nice cuddling voice, “Bye bye Fluffy cutie.” (And again, I was thinking, “Mahai!!!!! How come no girl talked to me that way before!”) and we smiled (Okay, I smiled!) and headed to the store.

Fluffy is getting more attention than we all do. So yeah, I am thinking of sending him in for advertising and see how it goes. Hell, maybe he will make his first million than we do!

Aug

::: modification of post :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: General

I have removed the post about the road accident and the one about how I heard voices. Don’t ask me why. All I can say is that I was advised to do so.

Thank you.

Aug

::: the farewell that made people weep :::

By Adrian 0 Comments

Categories: work

Update: March 19, 2007
Kindly leave a comment in this blog if you decide to use the sample email below as your farewell email to your colleague. Your information will not be used in any way and it is for unofficial statistic purpose only. Thank you.

When I left my last job, I sent out a farewell email to everyone in the company, and the respond was really good. Here is the e-mail:

————————————————————-

From: Adrian Ang [adrian@xxxxx.com.my]
To: (undisclosed recipients)
Subject: Good Bye

Dear friends,

This is a note which I knew I would have to write someday, although it
never crossed my mind when.

It seems like minutes rather than year when I first stepped into XXX Company,
a non-chemical background guy who wouldn’t know an acrylic from solvent.
I’ve laughed and cried and learnt with the best of you and over the year,
many of you have become like family to me. I have no doubt that today, when
I log out for the last time and leave my cubicle to explore new horizons,
it will be one of the longest and saddest walks in my life.

But explore the new horizons I must. It is a sad decision but I am in need
to fulfill my dreams.

Thank you for playing such a big part in my personal and professional
growth, and allow me to continue sharing your lives, just as you have done
so generously in the last one year and twenty nine days.

Please keep in touch.

Best Regards,
Adrian ANG

————————————————————-

A lot of the men, women, kids and dogs shed their tears for me after reading the farewell note, and most of them replied, saying it was such a touching farewell and it was the best they have seen in the industry. This, I have to thank Aurora (aka BunnyWunny) because I copied it from her farewell email (yes, I was lazy. Why waste time to write about it when someone already has written a very good one?) before she took the jump to become a freelance writer.

Oh Aurora? Be in line to thank me for giving you the 5 minutes fame. And you can collect your royalty next life, okay?

Aug