Rant & Raves

After resting for few days, not thinking of anything, and not having any motivation to do anything, I think I managed to recover some of the lost energies. I am not saying I am fully recovered, but I guess I am on the right path to regain self-control and motivation.

The sign of loosing the driving force (at least for me)? Here are the few signs:-

1. Lost of concentration - I can read a book, watch a movie, but then I will end up just staring at the book/screen and lost all my concentration.
2. Shut-down - when I shut down, I won’t think of anything, or rather, in this case, I couldn’t think of anything. My mind was in constant blank state.
3. Tired - well, I can sleep whole day, so go figure how tired I can be.
4. Quiet - I am naturally a talkative person and active in communication with the people aroudn me. But when I shut down, I will remain ultra quiet. Sometimes, I can remain quiet for two days, not even muttering a single word.

I am not sure how many of you have experienced this kind of feelings; lost, no energy, no driving force, and just feel so damn tired that you want to sleep whole day and night, and hoping that you won’t wake up and see the world again. It was like someone just ramp you over with a 18-wheeler and knock you out of your breath. It was like you had been floored by Mount Everest.

That’s what I went through. I was in no mood for anything, and that was so unusual for me. I didn’t even bother to stay up late at night to work on certain things. I just… ermmm.. stayed lazy.

I believe it is very important for all of us to have the kind of driving force that push us harder, to make us better, and to make us feel hungry (not for food, but for personal achievement, success, etc). Once we loose the driving force, its like we lost our motivation; we will be directionless. We won’t know what is our next move or what we should do next. So keeping a clear direction and good driving force is important, not just for our goal, but for general well-being of our life as we know we have a purpose, and/or a dream to fulfill.

I am not going into the details of what affected me, or what happened. That will remain as personal as possible. This blog is serving as a reminder to myself that I will try my best not to loose my driving force again.