Archive for April, 2006

28
Apr

::: the resting place :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: Family

Today I had a conversation with mom, and it was about many thing but never about Nicky. It was clear that mom was trying hard to steer the conversation away from Nicky as she knows how much Nicky meant to me.

I found out that my brothr-in-law, after allowing the vet to put Nicky to sleep, brought the body to a hillside and buried him under a tree, so it was a shaddy and breezy spot with great scenary.

knowing that he has a good resting place and knowing that he had a great meal before the injection made me feel slightly better.

I also found out that my brother-in-law whispered in Nicky’s ear, on my behalf, that we all wished him to rest in peace, and thanked him for giving us all these good years and great memories.

Later, both mom and me wondered if he found dad since he is dad’s favorite.

I really miss both of them…

27
Apr

In Memory of Nicky

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: Family

Today I received a SMS from my sister anouncing that Nicky, our beloved dog whom has companied us for 15 years, passed away in the afternoon at 2:30pm.

Nicky has been with us since I was in high school. He was a stubborn stud with an attitude, a white prince, just like me (except the white part). He was like a brother to me, companying me through late nights (study or tv), waiting for me faithfully whenever I went out. We had great times together jogging and tracking at the hill side near my previous home, and when we were tired, we would nap together.

After I went to the States, not a lot of people would play with him because he can be very silly, stubborn, and clumpsy. So he became lonely and slowly, he became depressed. The biggest reason was that I wasn’t around and he felt that his best pal had abandoned him.

Whenever I came back for vacation, he would bark at me when he saw me, not because he hated me, but because of dog’s limited eyesight range, and also to confirm it was really me, his best pal. Then I would call his name, and he would dash to me upon hearing my voice. He would follow me wherever I go and played with me. I trully believed that he was really happy, and sometimes I swore that I saw him grinning.

And then, one year I came back after receiving the news that my father had passed away, I saw Nicky staying next to dad’s casket, like guarding dad’s body. He won’t leave and he won’t eat. All he could do was to stay near my dad, guarding, whinning, and crying.

Years went by, and I started my carrer in K.L., so the time we spent were less than I desired. His health has started to deteriote due to his age, and his legs were growing weak. About a month ago, his front left leg gave way and it was dangling totally after the joints were dislocated completely. Also, he was diagnosed with nose and throat cancer after we discovered huge lump in his throat. The vet couldn’t do anything about the cancer and the dislocated joint, so he had been resting near the door a lot. Ocassionally, he would get up with his other good legs, limped around and went for his bowl of food. Sometimes when he saw me, he couldn’t get up to greet me the way he used to, and just waited for me to talk to him, to pat him, and to company him.

Two days ago, his hind legs experienced the same joint-dislocation and he was completely paralysed. He couldn’t get up, so he poo and pee on himself.

Taking the advice from the vet, my sister and brother-in-law decided to put him to sleep, so he could rest in peace and all the suffering would end.

Hopefully he has reunited with dad in heaven.

I really miss both of them.

26
Apr

::: selfish :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized

The sky is extremely dark, and it is raining extremely heavy right now at PJ area, with roaring thunder around me, and the people are running for their life on the street to find a shelter. I am stuck at a place where failed attempts to pay for Maxis were made. Without anything better to do, I decided to order a cup of java at Coffee Bean, and blog while waiting for the rain to stop.

Some of you might wonder why I choose the title “Selfish” for this blog. If you have some time, read through it and you will understand.

A lot of time, most of us will just think that our actions are only limited to ourselves and the small matters will not affect others. But this is not true. Whatever we do today might bring a collateral effect to a thousand years later. Unfortunately, a lot of people failed to see through this and still do things their very own way, regardless if the other party is requesting something else because in their mind, it was only a very small matter and it was ok.

For instance, let’s say two person are on MSN chatting about something. Suddenly, one party just failed to reply for more than 1 hour because he/she went for meeting. How selfish is that to let the other party wait without informing him/her? How long does it take to type “brb. meeting” so that the other party will find something else to do instead of waiting like a fool in front of the MSN chat just to wait for an answer? Unfortunately, the answer is it will take a long time. That’s why a lot of the people do not have the responsibilities and conscious to let the other party knows about the meeting. They might think that the other person waiting for the answer for 30, 40, or 50 minutes (sometimes longer) is okay. They don’t understand that not only their time is precious, but other people have their own schedule to keep, and their time is precious as well.

I will really appreciate it if you would just inform me about you going away. I am not asking you to explain to me about where you are going (toilet?) or how many piece of shit you planning to poo. A simple “BRB” will do, or “brb, meeting” will be more than sufficient to let me know that I can do something else better than waiting for an answer.

If it was because of all these stupid my-time-is-more-precious-than-yours thing that got things delayed massively, or resulted in me waiting for more than an hour, don’t blame me for getting really upset, especially after I had repeated numerous time requesting that you inform me so I could do something else.

Now, if you will excuse me, I will BRB.

25
Apr

::: driving force (part 3) :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: about me and life

After a few days rest (seems like ages), I have finally regained my strengths, energies, and motivations to move on.

Simply put: I was exhausted.

After spending endless days and nights to work on things, and those energies, sleepless nights, and brain-power to plan for strategies, the next move, and so on, I simply didn’t get the much deserved rest and so I burnt out.

I am okay now. After the much needed rest for few days, keeping my mind blank and stuff, I finally regained the strengths and energies. But there are still few extra miles to go. I still got a few important things to settle and once I got those going, I will take a much needed vacation.

Till then, I will still be here. But don’t worry, I am okay now.

24
Apr

::: the steps after breakup :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: about me, life and weird shit

NOTE: Previously published as ::: would you do it? ::: but republished as current title because the author believes that the current title is more adequate.

I believe a lot of us experienced failed relationship and had to break up with the guys/girls (except there are TWO person I know that felt in love with one person, got married until now, so they have no experience about breaking up and the heart-broken episodes in our lives). I am not an expert here, but I do have a few experiences myself. Last time when I was talking about this with my friends, I found out that a few of the things that is ultra common.

The following case is generally for guys breaking up with girls:-

  • Tears - Now, this is universal. During a lot of the breakups, be it the woman or the man initiated it, there will be some tears involving. Crying seems like a norm to a lot of people, and then they will do the next thing:
  • Why - This is the undoubtfully the most commonly asked questions, especially during breakups. Well, if you have noticed, when you asked a person why he/she loves you, they cannot give you a clear answer. They can tell you how attractive you are, how gentle you are, the things you had done, or about how cute your character is. But those are only the reasons, or excuses, that they can come up with. But during breakups, they can give you thousand and one reasons why they hate you, despise you and wanted to break up with you. The once-they-like-character can instantly become something like a thorn to their eyes. That’s why I always tell people, “One doesn’t need a reason to love someone, but they only need one reason to hate”
  • Anger - Sometimes, after the crying, and asking why, the victim (should we call them victim? I don’t know, I will let you guys decide on this) will become angry because the breaker broke the heart of the victim by telling him/her how worthless he/she is, and by giving all these reasons why the breaker don’t love him/her anymore.
  • Sex - Ok, this sounds weird, but it happens. I don’t know why, but I believe its because the woman will try to give us the farewell sex as a way to convince us to stay. Maybe they think that a good fuck will keep the guys at bay and he will change his mind once he get it for one last time.

So the assholes smart ones nowadays will use the line “No, its not your fault. It’s all my fault,” or “I am the one who don’t worth your love,” or “It has nothing to do with you. Its me” or something like that. Unfortunately, too many people are using this line so we all know about the fact that the people using this line is just trying not to make the other party feel too shitty about themselves.

Among a lot of case, if the woman is the person initiated the breakup, the following will normally happen: SEX.

Why would I say this? Well, beside my personal experience, I also found out from a lot of my male friends that they had the same experience as mine. But I cannot say for sure since not a lot of guys will admit that the girls broke up with them, so I don’t have too much data to analize. Damn those male egos. Anyway, I will only relate this conclusion using whatever information I can get, and my very own experience.

The reason for the woman giving sex is like they feel pity for the guys, or sometimes guilty for breaking up with them, so they normally will tell the guys to have sex ONE LAST TIME (as a compensation, or consolation). After this farewell sex (or farewell blowjob, whichever), the woman will feel that they do not owe the guy anything at all.

99% of the time, the guys will be so stupid to take the bait and have the farewell sex. Sometimes its because those guys will not know when is the next time they will get laid without paying, so they see it as a precious moment to release their load. A really smart guy will not take the bait because they know this is a way of compensation and stuff. So in order not to make the woman feeling good after the break up, the smart ones would refuse to fuck her.

So would you do it if you are being offered a farewell fuck?

As for me? Of all my failed relationships, I was the one who initiated the breakups except one. And that one was exactly the same case; wanting to give me a farewell sex. Did I take up the offer? You bet! But it was more of a revenge than anything else. She was engaged to someone else, and she used it as a reason for the breakup after treating me like shit. So after unloading myself, I told myself, “Okay dude, you can have her now after I have fucked her.”

I am evil. I know…

23
Apr

::: driving force (part 2) :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: about me, life and work

After resting for few days, not thinking of anything, and not having any motivation to do anything, I think I managed to recover some of the lost energies. I am not saying I am fully recovered, but I guess I am on the right path to regain self-control and motivation.

The sign of loosing the driving force (at least for me)? Here are the few signs:-

  1. Lost of concentration - I can read a book, watch a movie, but then I will end up just staring at the book/screen and lost all my concentration.
  2. Shut-down - when I shut down, I won’t think of anything, or rather, in this case, I couldn’t think of anything. My mind was in constant blank state.
  3. Tired - well, I can sleep whole day, so go figure how tired I can be.
  4. Quiet - I am naturally a talkative person and active in communication with the people aroudn me. But when I shut down, I will remain ultra quiet. Sometimes, I can remain quiet for two days, not even muttering a single word.

I am not sure how many of you have experienced this kind of feelings; lost, no energy, no driving force, and just feel so damn tired that you want to sleep whole day and night, and hoping that you won’t wake up and see the world again. It was like someone just ramp you over with a 18-wheeler and knock you out of your breath. It was like you had been floored by Mount Everest.

That’s what I went through. I was in no mood for anything, and that was so unusual for me. I didn’t even bother to stay up late at night to work on certain things. I just… ermmm.. stayed lazy.

I believe it is very important for all of us to have the kind of driving force that push us harder, to make us better, and to make us feel hungry (not for food, but for personal achievement, success, etc). Once we loose the driving force, its like we lost our motivation; we will be directionless. We won’t know what is our next move or what we should do next. So keeping a clear direction and good driving force is important, not just for our goal, but for general well-being of our life as we know we have a purpose, and/or a dream to fulfill.

I am not going into the details of what affected me, or what happened. That will remain as personal as possible. This blog is serving as a reminder to myself that I will try my best not to loose my driving force again.

20
Apr

::: drving force (part 1) :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: about me and life

Yesterday I slept very early, so early until I couldn’t believe it myself. It might be a new world record for me ever since I turned 1 (well, new-born sleeps almost 24/7 so we might as well as just exclude it).

I slept at 530pm.

Suddenly I just felt so tired, like all my energies had been sucked out of me, and I just became a deflated ballon; totally empty inside.

The reason for this flat-out effect was because previously I had a lot of dreams and passions driving me, like driving forces. These forces kept me going, kept me staying awake at night, and kept me working hard. Because by going further, working harder and spending more time on it, I could sense that I was closer to my dreams and passions.

Then yesterday, after months, if not years of hardwork only then I found out I wasn’t an inch closer to my dreams and passions, I felt completely defeated. It was like someone just took the wind out of me, the driving forces that had been driving me had evaporated.

Like a car without petrol, I stalled and I just felt so tired. All the late nights I spent, the energy I used, all came back to me and hit me hard. So I sort of collapsed due to exhaustion.

Since yesterday, my mind has been blank and I couldn’t think of anything. Mind you, I am a person with very active brain that keeps thinking, so that would tell ou something.

I guess after going through the extra miles, I just need some time to recollect myself and take this opportunity to rest a bit so that I can go further…

18
Apr

::: another great :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: life

This is just great. I am currently running at a streak of good lucks.

I just went to check on my tires and saw that two of them are completely flat already due to the leakage, and when I was planning to send my car to the tire shops around to fix the safety valve, I found out that I left my wallet at home. Worse of all? I didn’t have the apartment keys with me because I gave it to Maria since she left her keys at the office.

Oh! Did I forget to say that today Maria is not going to be office? After she went into the office, her colleagues are dragging her out. She will be out visiting key customers for the whole day so ….

Damn, this is just great. What a great way to start a day…

18
Apr

::: low class animals :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: common sense

Okay, that’s it! I had enough of this low class animals act!

Those people from Pelangi Damansara apartments are trully low class animals. Ok, let me clarify that I am not saying ALL of those living in low cost or medium-range apartments are low class animals, but a lot of them are pretty much an animal at best. Why am I saying this? Well, low cost apartment normally rents cheaper, so it attracts those low class animals that’s jealous of people having car (or something, and I am not saying there’s no RICH low class animals. Because the population density is higher in those low cost apartments, the contrast the low class animals ratio increase as well).

Pelangi Damansara Apartment is not really low cost. It ranged from 120K to 130K, not like those 40-60K apartments. I invested in this apartment because the time when I bought it, I was single and didn’t need a big place. At first it was a wonderful place, with plenty of space, quiet moment, and my apartment view is good, overseeing the golf course. But later, I noticed a lot of foreign workers residing there because the apartment is very near to The Curve, and Ikano PowerCenter (IKEA).

About four months ago, during the Chinese New Year time (in fact, one full month before the CNY), those pricks played with firecrackers from their apartment. What they did was they light up the firecrackers, and threw them out from their apartment windows. All this happened between 12am to 5am. At the end, it kept blasting around and woke the residents up all the time.

About two months ago, those fuckwits started to throw stones from their apartment window. With the velocity and size of those stones, when it landed, it shattered windshield and dented the car hood. As a result? My hood was dented, the wind deflector broke, and a dent on my windshield.

Then, about a month ago, those low class fuckwits started an arson on the fucking elevators! One of them was badly burnt and it triggled the fire alarm in the middle of the night. At the end? All 19 floors of residents (each floor has 16 units, so go figure) have to share one fucking elevator because the other one was so badly destroyed (the wall panels, cables and flooring were damaged) that it cannot function at all.

Well, can you guess what prompted my outburst today?

This morning when I reached my car after taking the stairs (because in the morning, a lot of people are rushing to work so at the end, the elevator is always full), I noticed that 3 tyres of mine were flat. I looked around and saw that the cars around me all have the same symptoms. Some cars were a bit lucky with 2 flats, and some with 4 flats. Looked further around, and I saw no less than 20 cars got the same treatments from those pricks.

I thought to myself, “Okay, nevermind. There’s a Shell up front so I will just pump the gas then.”

When I drove pass the guardhouse, I told them what happened, and the guard said, “Yea kah?” and that’s all!

!@!$!@#$@!~#@

After I crawled to the Shell station (hey, you are not suppose to go fast with a flat or else you are endangering your life, and others), I saw 3 cars lining up in front of me, and all of them have the same thing; more than 2 flat tires. Further inspection reveals that they are from the same apartment (I can tell from those car stickers).

When it was my turn, I pumped the gas and noticed that those pricks actually pull out the internal pins (the purpose of the pin is to prevent the gas from leaking) so at the end, no matter how I pump it, there’s leakage and it will run flat again!!!

THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS WILL SURELY GET IT.

Don’t let me find out which fuckwit pricks did this. I will surely beat the shit out of them.

Machaohai….

17
Apr

::: good one :::

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: Entertaintment and weird shit

Today I saw a video clip from Seraphe’s blogsite and it is really good. So good until I have to steal it from his site and show it to you guys [sorry bro, got to steal it].

Here goes…

[Lyrics provided by Seraphe]

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn’t be that man I adored
You don’t seem to know, don’t seem to care what your heart is for
But I don’t know him anymore
I don’t care, I have no luck, I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things that I can’t touch, I’m torn

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late, I’m already torn. torn.

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