There was once a rumor that there are 3 Weirdeteers in our company. Surprisingly, and most unfortunately, two of them are stationed at my office location and I didn’t know about this rumor until recently because my dear colleagues are afraid that these weirdeteers will piss me off and in return I will burn them on a cross and stab them with toothpicks.
When selecting the weirdeteers, the list was without ranking. After much calculation and consideration, I had decided to rank them accordingly. [Of course you cannot expect me to name names in this kind of list, but if you are interested, please feel free to email me and maybe, only maybe, I will tell you]
Rank #1: Beuno*
Now the first question is why do I think Beuno deserves to be ranked number 1 whereas the other candidates are no less weirder than our dear Beuno.
Well, Beuno is a person who likes to play the pity-me card to the customers, telling the same old sad stories about his family and wife to those customers, and also playing the flirting field with those young inexperience purchasers. But in front of his dear colleagues, he is very protective against himself and try to portray great sense of privacy. Furthermore, his brain size has not fully developed yet compared to the advanced human beings (spell: normal people) and it is still in the ape era. He cannot think and talk at the same time. He cannot think and drive at the same time. Hell, I heard that he cannot fuck and come at the same time too! He can sit in front of the computer for 15 minutes, not moving his fingers (on top of the keyboard) at all, and “deep in thoughts”.
But that’s not too bad. What’s worse is that he likes to pretend he’s very innocent and angelic looking. Hell, when he’s smiling at you like a retard, his eyes can twinkle and he is trying very hard to look innocent.
Oh, that’s not the worst. The worst thing is he likes to wear shirt one size smaller. Damn, can you imagine a guy walking like an ape, look like an ape, and yet wearing a shirt one size smaller? That will give you nightmare for sure.
Rank #2: Charm*
I was told once that Charm* was the Prince Charming. At first I thought that was the case, but after observing the situation, I found out that “Prince Charming” actually means something else… something more complicated and dark.
Well, he is in a very high position, making quite some money from the monthly salary, yet he likes to ask cigarettes from those production guys, who’s making (some of them) less than a thousand a month in basic. Ahah! Now I realized that Prince Charming is to say that when he’s asking for cigarettes from those production people, he’s always smiling and become very charming.
He’s not only stingy towards his own colleagues (he never pays whenever we go for lunch), he won’t even buy lunch nor drinks to his own customers! I once heard that he didn’t want to buy drinking water, so when he reached the customer’s place, he asked for soda and the staff has to go buy for him, on the account of the customer!
Rank #3: Oasis*
I strongly disagree with those people who put Oasis* into this ranking, because he’s not that weird. His fault is that he’s very long-winded and he can talked for hours on the same topic, and lecture you until your ears burst with oil and you pull your hair off your sculp.
I really disagree on putting him on the list, but maybe I do not spend much time with him so there are weirdeteers things that I haven’t seen. Oh well, a gentleman and angel like me have to go with the flow, so that’s why he’s in the list.
* Not real names. Real names are removed to protect the identity of those fuckwits.
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