Rant & Raves

Last night Maria was asking me if I will be giving her flowers during the Valentine’s day. I told her No. Its not because those greedy fuckers are overcharging roses for more than 500% but because I am not a flower kind of guy.

Well, I can almost hear some of you are shouting that I am a cheapo and a totally unromantic pig. I admit I am not romantic (well, most of the time), but I am definitely not cheap!

A lot of people asked me why I don’t give flowers during Valentine’s day, and my answer is simple. I don’t have to wait till Valentine’s day to give out flowers. I can do it everyday. I can treat my love ones like shit everyday, but buy them flowers during Valentine and Christmas. Does that make me a loving dude? I guess not. So I treat it as everyday is a Valentine’s day, except during Valentine’s day. The reason is because it is highly commercialized and people are overcharging all of us for something perishable, like roses!

Besides, during the course of all my relationships, I never sent any flowers to any girls. But I do have something better than flowers, and it will remain a secret until Maria receives it.

For those poor souls who have problems with girlfriends/wife/mistress and don’t know what to give during the St. Valentine’s Day, here are some ideas:

Cook a Meal
Well, you can always make a good meal (by your own standard. For my very own standard, I cook damn good meal. For 8 years I have failed to food poison myself). If you are not a good cook, head down to ColdStorage and buy those spaghetti sauce, buy some good sausages, and some spaghetti and make her a candle light spaghetti. If not, head down to the mamak store and buy some mutton and white rice and say that you cooked it. Instant noodle won’t do because they will know.

Buy a Gift (1)
Here is a great secret. Head to Noel website and choose something within your budget. From my experience, those great guys don’t overcharge the gifts in the systems and the final price plus delivery is ultra reasonable. For those that live outside of Klang Valley, you are fucked.

Buy a Gift (2)
Head down to Perlin-Silver and check out their things. But if you are too cheap, you can always go to the trash can and look for scrap metal. Then try to heat it to 3600 degree Celcius and shape it into anything you like. Oh! You can even try to use those can drinks to… nevermind.

Treat Her Special
I don’t know about you guys, but I do find that sometimes a good sex after all the above is a good way to end the night. Start by giving her a good long massage (use those spiced up massage oil for relaxation purpose), rub her thoroughly and then, slowly… well, you get the idea. Just make sure you are not the only one with a quick orgasm and then fall asleep ontop of her while she’s still wanting more. Make sure she’s totally exhausted! Reason: Then she won’t bug you anymore so you can rest well. If not she’ll nag about how insensitive you are about those gift thing.

Please note that the above list is for guys only.

Girls, you don’t have to worry too much about gifts to your boyfriend/husband/affair. Trust me, we guys are very contended and we do not ask for much from ya’ll. Just make sure you brush your teeth, and give us a mindblowing blowjob will do.