It seems like the office building elevator is a place where all the weirdo and junkies are hanging out.
I just came back from the long holiday (that’s the New Year break for those who are intelligence-challenged) and when I reached my office building, I notice there were a lot of pepole queuing in front of an elevator.
Being a smart-ass, I waited on the other side for another ride, which no one else had noticed yet. I was hoping to catch that elevator myself so I don’t have to be sandwich by some 250 pounds gozilla and crocodile (don’t ask me why. I just had that impression when I saw them). When the elevator came, everyone rushed into it, and packed the elevator like that’s the last train that leaves the country.
I laughed quietly because the one I spotted was coming down rather quickly, and I just pretended that I wasn’t going up.
“Ding!” announced the arrival of the elevator, and I pumped my fist in the air because I got the elevator all by myself!
Then came two fuckers, just right before the door closed.
One was the O/L bitch I encountered before [read blog] and the other one is a skinny guy with a very bad hair. Well, the O/L bitch recognized me instantly, and I also noticed her bad hair and the fact that she was going to be late for work, again.
Well, the skinny guy pressed “5″ and while I pressed “16″, the O/L bitch again pressed “15″ and I was thinking, “Yay! Don’t fuck with me or else I will squeeze you to death!”
Unfortunately, I underestimated the skinny guy. He went into the elevator, and started combing his hair using his fingers in front of the mirrors (again, I don’t understand why those designers must put mirrors in a fucking elevator) and checked his teeth (looked like he just ate and wanted to make sure there’s nothing on his teeth) constantly. To my horror, he licked his fingers a bit and combed his fucking hair, right in front of me!
(Don’t ask me to go into the details about how his hair looks like. He tried to look good with long hair, like the Fuck Four** and with the saliva cum hair gel, he really tried to look good. But he tried only…)
“Ding!” He reached his destination. He looked again at the mirror to ensure that he looked exactly the way he wanted, which, for me, looked like a fuck-face, and walked out. Of course, the O/L bitch wasn’t happy because he spent 2 seconds too long looking at the mirror, so she pressed on the “Close” button continuously.
Due to the previous incident, and the fact that she recognized me (who won’t? I am such a good looking and distinguish young man) and she started to glare at me. I was fed-up with her, so I just leaned on the Floor Panel and “accidentally” pressed almost all the floor selector. If I am not mistaken, I actually selected level 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and I missed out 14! Damn!
Her eyes almost wanted to pop up due the the glaring, and when the elevator stopped at each floor that I selected, I smiled with great satisfaction. It was better than orgasm.
Finally, when the elevator reached level 15, her destination, I again learned from her to press on the “Close” button continuously, and again, I pushed my middle finger up my nose bridge to adjust my glasses. Only then I realized I wasn’t wearing glasses but my contact lense.
Damn, it feels good to be an ass! 
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