Rant & Raves

Well, it’s Friday and all the seniors have gone back, due to sickness and another one is on leave. So I am just sitting here, bored like hell. While surfing on the web, I came across my very own website, which I abandoned years ago, but surprisingly, it was still on the net even tho I haven’t paid for the domain name for like 5 years. Anyhow, I was reading back on the stuff I have done, and saw some of the fake “news report” I made years back. It was nothing, just saw some pictures and I just created some stories out of it. Here are some of it.

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10.08.2001
Up to date, thousands of workers have been laid off by various tech companies, like Hewlett-Packard [Website], Intel [Website], Yahoo! [Website] and others. After those former employees have been laid off, they gathered together and protested on the main street of Washington D.C., to show that they were unsatisfied by lack of government help in order to help them avoid being laid.
These angry protesters hold signs saying that they have been unfairly treated. An individual, whom name preferred not to be mentioned, said that at first he was so excited working for big company because they are big, hot, hard, strong , steamy, and well-known around the world. But after few years, the company was beginning to show signs of weakness and finally, he got laid.
Spokerpersons from Intel, Yahoo!, and Hewlett-Packard all remain pretty silent regarding the decisions to lay off the workers. Mrs. Henderson, spokeperson from Intel, said, “Intel is big, strong, hard, and hot. We can lay anyone we want and there is nothing they can do about it. Obviously they think it is unfair to them, but they never considered the fact that they were at least being laid.”
Mr. Lee, former employee of Yahoo! said that it was a bad laid. “Unsatisfied” was the word used by Mr. Lee to describe the feeling of being laid. He said, “You may imagine that the lay is good since Yahoo! is big, strong, and hard. But that’s not true. I totally feel unsatisfied. It was like a job half-done, and it was not even close to reach the point-of-no-return.”
So far there were about 20,000 employees being laid off by technology companies, except the software giant Microsoft [Website]. A spokeperson told us in a conference that “as you may see, we are micro and soft, so we can’t lay anyone we like or want, and our employees are very unsatisfied. But we are working hard on this. Time will tell.”
10.06.2001
Dr. Federick Simpson, professor of University of New York, made a press release today to reveal the mysteries behind the Easter Bunny. In his opening statement, he said, “4 years ago during Easter, my 3-year-old asked me about the Easter Bunny. He wanted to know why bunny lays eggs while they are mammals. I was totally baffled because I couldn’t answer him such a simple question. I clearly had disappointed my son. So I set off to investigate further on this mystery of Easter Bunny.”
He organized a 3,000 member search team which includes the FBI, CIA, Secret Securities and other members. His quest was funded by the government because apparently the government wants to know the truth about the secret of Easter Bunny as well.
After spending 4 years on the search of the true mystery behind the Easter Bunny, he finally found the truth near a small town in Mississippi area. He was driving through a small town when his assistant, Ms. Stephanie Scarpeta, saw something and stopped Dr. Federick Simpson.
Instantly, Dr. Federick Simpson stopped the car, took out his camera, and took the picture which will later be proved as the evidence of the key source to reveal the secret of Easter Bunny. [See picture on right] Once the bunny realized someone was around, it ran quickly and disappeared behind the dense wood.
Dr. Simpson then bought the chicken from the farmer, whom said the bunny has been around for years and all the chickens he got were made pregnant by the bunny. After some scientific analysis, they found that the chicken is pregnant.
In his closing statement at press release, Dr. Simpson said that he can finally tell his son about the mystery of Easter Bunny, and he hopes that all the schools around the world will tell the youngsters about it instead of just referring it to “its just a tale”.