01
Jul

B*tch

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: conversation, life, observation and people

Yesterday while having lunch with a friend at one of those kopitiam, my friend Wei was looking behind me. Practically his eyes were glued on some interesting object, thinking that it was a friend or something standing behind me, I turned my head to have a look.

I saw a young woman walking past us, but I couldn’t see the face. She was wearing a tight white tank top with a low-cut super tight jeans, and to be honest, the body is well shaped. She has a round buttock that curved and supported the jeans from falling off, but her tits are not gigantic. But from the shape, they were well defined and hence the tank top was a bit loose. It was definitely one of those body shapes that gave men a lot of imaginations.

“I can’t see the face,” I said. The girl was constantly checking her mobile phone, calling once a while and appeared super impatient.

Wei replied, while still checking her out from top to bottom, “Ok only.”

I laughed, “For you it’s ok since you can cover the face and bang the base.”

Wei laughed and replied, “Can’t say she is pretty, but she has a very bitchy look.”

Suddenly I felt philosophical like something just hit me and that opened up my wisdom. I replied in a slow tone, “That’s because she knows she has something that a lot of man will go to the distance to get, so she can afford to be bitchy. Once she lost the that….”

For once, Wei unglued his eyes from that girl and looked at me, and he looked like he was enlightened by some great wisdom, and laughed. “Yea, once the body has gone out of shape, we will see a sudden change.”

By then, the girl gave up waiting and walked out to the main road to hail a cab. It was less than 3 minutes that she waited there.

26
Jun

Michael Jackson Passed Away

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: life and people

Michael Jackson, the “King of Pop”, has passed away at UCLA Medical Center. He was 50.

22
Jun

Respect

By Adrian 1 Comment
Categories: observation

I always love to observe people, and I am amazed at the amount of information available from something minor, such as the choice of words, body language, and most importantly, action.

Let’s use an example: Respect.

Of course, we had heard of people using the most beautiful sentence to describe how one respect the others. The words are original and it was being said with great emotions. But how true is the respect one has for the other? Can we really take the mere words as the final judgement?

Some might say yes, but I beg to differ. I strongly believe the old saying: Action speaks louder than words.

Let’s use one scenario to illustrate this: During a dinner, the waiter send out watermelon for each and everyone at the table. There is only one slice for each person.The child respected the parents, so he/she reserves two slices of watermelon for each, even without the parents asking. Even he/she will reserve one slice of the watermelon for the younger sibling. Now, let’s say you were attending the dinner, and you just happened to be away when the waiter served the watermelon, be it a toilet brake or whatsoever , and when you went back to the table, you found this person finishing his/her slice of watermelon, and grabbed your slice of watermelon and started eating, without even asking for permissions to take it, and worse of all, this person knows that watermelon is your favorite fruit of all time.

So how much respect this person has for you? I mean, maybe this person can use beautiful words to describe the amount of respect he/she has for you, but the action just doesn’t tally with the words. Maybe once is an accident, but what if it happened frequently? I mean, this person will reserve food/drinks for others, but just not you, does it show that this person is respecting you?

Some might argue that Oh please, it’s something so small, so just let it go. I totally agree that it is something small. I mean, it’s just a goddamn slice of watermelon, not like it’s an atomic bomb or something, but unfortunately, sad but true, something small like this shows the most amount of information about a person and how this person is treating you.

The reason why I am using small things like this is not because I am petty but because important things are different. Only small matter like this will not require a person to think and the person will react naturally and show true colors. When it is something very important, a person will think deep and long, and the action might be influence by logic and culture. Of course, there are exception but generally speaking, it’s true that small things show the most.

Like how I observed my family. When my dad was alive, he would always bring home some food for my mom that he thought was good even without my mom asking. And sometimes when my dad had to work late, my mom would reserve plenty amount of food for my dad. I mean, it’s something very minor but it showed the amount of respect my parents had for each other. Even until now, at the age of 33, I still ask for my mom’s permission if I were to eat more than my share. That’s a respect to my mom.

Old wisdom from my mom, and I am going to share it with you: only marry the person who will save a portion of the food for you.

Note: This might be a series of observations that I will compile into my blog post as and when I observe something that I can share, so stay tuned.

Disclaimer: The above is purely my observations. It doesn’t represent anyone’s statement nor opinion.

07
Jun

Is This Not A Lie?

By Adrian 3 Comments
Categories: about me, people and rants and raves

When someone intentionally tell you only half the truth, is that still considered a lie? When the half truth leads you to misunderstand the whole situation and makes you believe otherwise from the bigger truth, is that considered as misleading?

Let me make an example here, if you may. Let’s just assume that a person has total of 4 reasons to do something; reason A, B, C, and D. Reason A is the most important, which takes up to 90 % of the whole reason, while the rest takes up to the remaining 10%. When you ask this person the real reason for his/her action, and the reasons given to you are reasons B, C, and D, which consists of total of 10% of out of the whole truth. Do you consider this action as equivalent to lying?

Worse still, because that 10% out of the whole truth, it resulted in you believing something else, something different from the rest of the whole truth, do you think its misleading. How about when it’s done on purpose? That this person knowingly and intentionally inform you the 10% and withhold the remaining 90% of the truth, do you still think, in a way, that it is a form of lying?

I am a logical person, thanks to the engineering training I got during university, so my logical deduction is in this formula.

Half truth = Incomplete truth = Incomplete truthfulness = Lie

Are you still following the formula? Yes? Good.

Now, it doesn’t matter if it’s a complete lie or white lie, when the lie is done with intention and purpose, then the lie is a lie no matter how I look at it (in formula, that’s Lie = Lie). Or how about the real reason for not telling the complete truth is out of selfish reason? Such as “it is my own secret even though it involves you and the remaining 90% of the reason got some effect on you” or “I don’t think you would understand”.

Hmmm…. Who are you to judge how am I going to react before even giving me a chance to hear the complete truth? Who are you to presume that I would react in certain way?

When only the 10% out of the whole truth were being shared with you and resulted in you misunderstood so many things, hurt you psychologically and emotionally, does that equivalent as misleading? It doesn’t matter if the result of you being hurt is by intentional or not, it is still misleading no matter what. If it’s done intentionally, then it’s misleading with intention. It is as simple as that.

If the result wasn’t as expected by the person who told of the lies, it’s still misleading nonetheless. Accidental? Maybe. But it is still misleading. How about it’s just a common sense that you would react in certain way when only 10% of the truth was being said? Well, it’s still misleading. It is that SIMPLE.

Hey, maybe I am wrong in formulating the equation like that. If that’s the case, I hope that some my smart readers can prove me wrong.

06
Jun

Life is a Constant Test

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: life

During schooling days, we had to go through numerous examinations, like those mid terms, finals, quiz, and etc, not to forget that you have those extra-curriculum test like LCCI (for accounting), and etc. Then we had to go through driving test to ensure that we pass both the written test (on traffic rules) and practical test (on driving to ensure you don’t kill anything during the test). There are many more that I am not mentioning here.

Once we are done with university/college/highschool (take your pick), we thought we are finally done with test, and examinations, and we set off to cheer the beautiful life awaiting in the future, making parties, making grand plans for the future, and all that crap, but we didn’t know what lies ahead of us.

Life is a constant test.

Sometimes, we know what’s the purpose of the test. We learn from it, we grow even further, and we understand life better. But sometimes, the test just show up out of nowhere and give us a surprise curve ball. Worse of all, we won’t know what the test is about, and not understanding the purpose of these tests are constant annoyance and frustration.

I am 33, and I can honestly tell you that what I have gone through, most time than not I don’t know what the hell was the purpose of those tests. I cracked my head thinking, trying to understand, yet the real reasons always eluded me. I tried to forget about those tests, but I know, for a fact, that there must be a purpose to it, and if I fail to understand those tests, then I will not be able to grow, I will not be able to be a better person, and I am just ignorant if I neglect it.

But one thing I have learnt so far, and it is to have less expectation on people. I wrote about promises, how disappointed I am with people. Well, if I have no expectation at all, then there is no way people can disappoint me. If I have no expectation at all, then if the outcome is a good one, I will be delighted, and if the outcome is bad, then I can live with it, and I won’t even hold grudges against anything or anyone.

Go read Lack of expectation aids personal relationships. It’s a great piece and I personally find that it is true. From now on, I won’t set any expectation on people anymore because constantly, people proved to be nothing but disappointment.

05
Jun

The Unconditional Love

By Adrian 0 Comments
Categories: billy

I am a big fan of dogs, and people who know me long enough will surely know about it. The reasons are very simple. Compare to human, dogs will not disappoint us, and they will give us unconditional love.

It doesn’t matter what day it is. It doesn’t matter if it was a good day or a bad day. It doesn’t matter what time of the day we got back home, our dogs will always be there, tail wagging, tongue rolling, and just being really happy to see us. For example, Billy will go like “Hey daddy! It’s good to see you! Where the hell have you been?” even though if I had been gone for 20 minutes.

When I was busy and I got no time to play with Billy, he will just sit around me and waited patiently. When I got home late after work (or some social events), once I get home, he would run out from the house and wagged his tail so hard that he would fan away all the dusts on the floor. When I feed him late, he never once growled at me, but happily wait for his meal to be prepared, and once he finished his food, he would come to me for some quality time together.

When I take out the leash, he would leap into the air (literally speaking, of course) and wanted to go for a walk, no matter how long the walk, no matter if it rains or sunshine, no matter what time. He will never get enough of quality time spent together. Even when I am in the toilet, he would wait for me, patiently, outside the bathroom for me to be done. When I call it a night, he would put his head on the bed (he’s that tall), wanting me to give him a final scratch behind his ears and his chest before he go to his corner to sleep.

It doesn’t matter to him if I am rich or poor. As long as I can spend time with him and feed him, he would be happy. He doesn’t mind if I don’t get him new toys, but if I do buy new toys for him, he would be delighted and he would play with the toy until it breaks, not complaining about the value or the quality of the gift.

Now, how many of you can say that about a human being? If you don’t spend enough time with girlfriends, they complained. If the diamond is a bit small, they said its not big enough for them. When you come home late, they questioned you and gave you cold shoulders. When you want to go out for a walk, they would complain about the weather and how you should suit your walking time with hers.

How many human beings can you name (maybe besides our beloved mother) that can give you totally unconditional love? I bet with you that you won’t even name more than 2 (because the fact that Mother Theressa passed away).

Dogs are just the most wonderful creature in the world. A lot of times, I find them more trustworthy than human beings. They will always be there for us, and they will not betray us.

That’s why Billy is the greatest.

04
Jun

Friends, or the So-Called Friends

By Adrian 2 Comments
Categories: about me

I know a lot of people, and they are the hi-bye friends. People asked me why I don’t have a lot of close friends, and I told them it’s because I am very picky with my friends.

See, I don’t need best friends or close friends that are blindly supportive of me. I want friends whom will tell me off if I screw up in any way. I want friends who can be truthful to me no matter what, and I want friends who are not afraid to offend me if they see fit. Most importantly, I want friends who are very subjective, and not supportive of me blindly.

Now, those are what I call real friends. Those are what I would want to be my close friends. Sadly, these people are hard to come by, and that’s the reason why I don’t have many close friends.

Don’t come to me and pretend to be a friend when problem arises. Your tactic doesn’t work on me, and I have seen enough to see through your true colors. And worse of all, don’t come to pretend friendly at work just to get things done your way. It doesn’t work on me anymore. When I needed your support to get things done, you always keep me away from your door or phone call. When you have a problem, then I become your best of friends. So go fuck yourself.

Anyway, if you are real friends, then at least you should respect the fact that there are two side of the story, and you should listen to both first before being supportive, BLINDLY. Even a judge will listen to both the plaintiff and defendants stories.

If these friends think that being supportive is a must to be called best friends, then they are nothing but robbers and murderers, robbing the truth from her, and murdering the chance for her to know what she has done wrong, and such. And if anyone wants friends like those who would support him/her blindly, then he/she’s just a coward; afraid to face the truth, afraid to hear the truth, and afraid that his/her best friends will tell him/her that he/she was wrong in certain regards.

If anyone is being protected this way, by the so-called friends and family, then he/she will never realize what was his/her problem, and will never be a better person. So hey you, the so-called friends, I hope you are reading this: If you want to be a real friends, be as subjective as possible. I understand your instinct need to protect and support your friends, but if you do so blindly, you are not doing anything good. You are just going to make that person repeat the same mistake again and again. If you are a real friend, don’t be afraid to tell your friend off once a while if he/she has done anything wrong, and next time, at least be bothered to hear the story from the other side too.

People ask me why am I so disappointed with people. Here, this is one of the reasons.

02
Jun

Promises

By Adrian 1 Comment
Categories: about me, life, rants and raves and work

In life, I have made a few promises, and I will always keep up to my words, or the least I achieved was trying my blardy best to keep up to my promises. But then, I found that a lot of time, it is a moot point for me to keep up to my promises when the other party doesn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I break my promises all the time. I am referring to cases where other parties involved also make the same promises.

Example #1: I promise you that I will ______________ only if you promise me __________.

Example #2: I promise you that I will ______________ but I need your help and support.

NOTE: Fill in the blanks that associate with your real life experience, be it fuckmate, friend, and etc.

Do you get the idea of the promises that I am referring to? Good, now I can move on to state my account.

I am experiencing this both in personal life and at work. People wanted my promise to do something, to achieve something, to be a better person, and yet when I seek for the promises and the help and support I required, I get nothing. It’s too disheartening for me. Do you understand how difficult it is for me to only work so hard on my own and not getting any support or help that I need? Can you even understand that I am trying really hard?

I hope you are reading this right now. I am done trying to be the only person working so hard to make things work. I am done, do you hear me? I am done! If you can’t keep up to your words, then please don’t promise me in the first place and give me empty words like that. Its very disappointing, when time and again, and again, you proved nothing but breaking your own promises.

I am done with these promises.

I AM DONE, YOU HEAR ME?

I AM DONE!

01
Jun

Constructive Criticism

By Adrian 2 Comments
Categories: observation, people and rants and raves

Constructive criticism (n) – definition: criticism or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer of possible solutions

That sounds really good, isn’t it? I mean, I won’t mind people giving me constructive criticism to make me a better person, a better businessman, a better friend, a better father (when I have kids lah, of course, but I am father of Billy, my beloved Golden Retriever), a better son, and etc. The list goes on, of course.

But constructive criticism is very different from crude criticism. Crude (or cruel) criticism is to put people down, hurting the person’s emotion, and it is not meant to improve anything but meant to be destructive. If you can’t take crude (cruel) criticism, I don’t blame you. Not many people can take that, and I know for sure I have a pretty low threshold for such criticism.

No one is perfect, and we should take constructive criticism with open arms. Who doesn’t want to be a better ____________ (insert your options here, such as fuckmate, boyfriend, girlfriend, son, daughter, and etc. You get the idea)? I certainly know I am not perfect, so when Yuinny told me that I had a bad temper, I thought deep and long about it, and then I tried to get control of my own temper. As a result, nowadays I take deeper breath (to cool down), take longer to answer or reply (to take time to cool down and think of my words), and most importantly, I just let things go instead of harping on it.

I can’t say I have mastered my own temper, but it is definitely on the improving end.

But some people can’t take any form of criticism. Yes, they can tell everyone that it was okay to criticism them because they are open minded and stuff like that, but once you give your comments or constructive criticism, they flip. Big. Time.

I have seen cases like that, and I went through hell for just giving a constructive criticism. Furthermore, even a day after that, they are still making noises, being spiteful just to piss me off (the so-called getting back at me) and stuff like that. I mean, its so childish that I just can’t be bothered anymore. For me, I was just giving you my opinion and the constructive criticism since you said you are open minded about things and stuff. But if you want to flip because of that, and want to be spiteful after that just to get back at me, do as you wish but I won’t entertain a bit of it. I would enjoy a lazy Sunday with Billy, sipping my Iced Latte (not my favorite, but it was a very hot Sunday), reading my newspaper, just enjoying a lazy moment.

For me, I think that everyone, and I do mean EVERY-FUCKING-PERSON-IN-THE-WORLD-ONE should listen to constructive criticism so that we can be a better person and when more people are better person in the world, the world will be better. If you don’t want to take cruel criticism that is meant to beat you down, I total understand and I agree wholeheartedly. But if you can’t even take constructive criticism, then you are not an adult at all.

28
May

Superglue Girlfriend

By Adrian 5 Comments
Categories: conversation, friends, fuck ups, people and rants and raves
Jack* : Hey bro, you free tonight? Wanna go out?
Me : Yeah, I am free. What’s up?
Jack : My girlfriend is on a vacation trip with the family, and I want to enjoy myself while she’s gone!
Me : Hahaha! Bro! You sounded like you just got out of jail or something.
Jack : You have no idea bro. I feel suffocated, and now she’s gone, I suddenly feel a heavy weight lifted off my shoulder.
Me : Hmm… how come?
Jack : Let me get one thing straight first. We both love each other very much, and I love to spend time with her. But sometimes, it’s just too much. Like when I go over to her house, and after spending hours with her, I went downstairs to smoke and read newspapers, she would come down after 1 minute, sat next to me, and say something like so the newsaper is more interesting than me now? or why are you reading newspaper? It’s like I have to put down the newspaper and company her only then she would stop making noise.
Me : That’s not too bad bro.
Jack : Ya, and she makes noise also when I am reading in the toilet.
Me : Hahaha! You and your reading in the toilet. You do that since what? 10 years old?
Jack : Ya I know, but its an old habit and I can’t just change it. Besides, I do enjoy the serenity and quietness while reading in the toilet.
Me : I know, I have the same habit too.
Jack : Exactly! Now imagine that when she stays over, and while I was in the toilet, she would keep talking and stuff until I put down the magazine or book and pay attention to her, or else she would say something like why can’t you put the book down? or something like that unless I comply.
Me : Hmm….
Jack : A lot of time after spending 4 or 5 hours with her, or after spending the whole day with her during the weekend, the moment I got home, she would call me and wanted to talk for at least an hour. I also need to do some work, or go toilet to shower, or do something. I mean, I also need my space to do what I need to do, so why can’t she understand that?
Me : I don’t know bro. I have the same problem too.
Jack : Then when we go out together, and after spending hours together, I sometimes sit down to think about work or what not, and she would keep asking me what I was thinking and asking nonstop until I put my thoughts away and concentrate on her, then she would become happy. Otherwise she would be moody.
Me : Hmmm… that sounds rather possessive bro. Did you talk to her about it?
Jack : Well, I didn’t at first. Normally I just gave in, like, putting the newspaper away, or putting my thoughts away because I know if I talk to her, she won’t like it.
Me : But you gotta tell her bro.
Jack : I did!
Me : And??
Jack : Well, 3 days before her trip, I decided to tell her because she sort of realized that she was hogging me too much, so I told her…
Me : And? What’s next?
Jack : Well, the summary was that she flipped. She didn’t like what I said and she flipped.
Me : Damn!
Jack : Ya man. And then after pissing at me for more than 10 minutes, I couldn’t take it and I told her off, and I said that I don’t want to talk about it anymore because she was totally in offensive and she won’t listen.
Me : ….
Jack : Then, the next day, she ignored me at first. And when I SMS her, she was replying in a cold manner, and later at night she was outright rude and taunting. I was okay the whole day but then, after taking too much of that, I got pissed again and told her off again.
Me : Shit! That doesn’t sound good.
Jack : Ya. The day before her trip, she wanted to talk. So I went over to her house, and well, it wasn’t what I expected. I went to her house purposely, twice, to sort things out, and she was twisting my words and all that, I got very pissed. So I told her off again and walked off from the conversation and left her house. Later at night, at about 330am, she SMS me saying that I have ruined her trip and that I must be very happy and gloating about it now. I was like, what the fuck?
Me : And?
Jack : I had a long day, and I got to work, so I was about to fall asleep until that SMS. It woke me up, and after reading the SMS, I mean, why want to make things worse when it was already bad when I left her house and disturb my rest for stupid message like that, I got so pissed that I packed her stuff, drove all the way to her house and left her belongings at the gate.
Me : Jesus! Why would you want to do that?
Jack : Well, I was okay with her possesiveness. I gave in but I needed to tell her so that she would know. But what I can’t take is her childishness.
Me : How old is she again?
Jack : She’s 27. But age is not an excuse.
Me : I am not saying that its an excuse, bro. I have seen 18 years old being more matured than a 30 years old.
Jack : Exactly. Anyway, as I was saying, I am just sick and tired of her childishness. Age is not a factor in deciding if a person should be mature or not, but being ignorance and self-centered is definitely not the best solution. I really can’t take it so I returned her belongings as a warning to her to stop being childish.
Me : Shit bro! You are pissing her off only.
Jack : I know, but I really couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t breath at all! I was okay with the small argument, but I got pissed by the fact that she twisted my words to suit her needs, and blamed me for every fucking things.
Me : Hmm… bro, it sounds like you seriously need a drink. You deserve a night out. So let’s meet up tonight.
Jack : Hehehe. That sounds more like it. I will see you tonight then!
Me : Deal.

* Name changed to protect the identify and privacy of the individual.

Anyway, I sometimes don’t understand why people can be so attached. I mean, I do understand how lovers feel, but don’t we all need some time and space to do our own things? Don’t we at least have to freedom to read when we want to, or to shower when we need to? (About reading in toilet, its a bad habit, but its so darn good that you must give it a try to really appreciate it)

I would definitely prefer my space and time, even if I am married, so that I can think of a new business idea, or checking out investment opportunities, or read the books I always wanted to read.

Do you have a superglue girlfriend or boyfriend? Care to share a short story on this blog?

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